Asphodels
by PinkPaperCrane
Summary: When it comes down to it, kindness is all Tsuna is. And kindness is just another word for greed. And in the end, as he watches the tears fall down, Tsuna does not regret it, because Tsuna is greedy, and the pacifier is greedy, and for all his kindness, Tsunayoshi is a selfish boy. Arco!27, Abandoned!27, sort of All27.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi there, now I should probably be updating D.B right now, but I'm having trouble with Yamamoto's chappie and I needed a break. So I wrote an ubsurdly long oneshot that I may or may not continue! Ah...procrastination. Anyways, if you recognize it, it isn't mine, and that also includes the odd quote or two I put in here. Now with that being said, this is very deserving of it's T rating, there are minor references to sex and maybe a cuss word or two. This is also an AU, so prepare for plot holes and weird OOCness.**

 **I apologize in advance.**

 **Now that being said, enjoy!**

* * *

 _(He wants to make you happy...)_

Sawada Tsunayoshi is kind. That much he knows.

One day, his kindness will be the death of him. That much he also knows.

And Sawada Tsunayoshi does not mind this, because he loves his precious, precious people.

And as he grasps at his orange pacifier, brushes his fingers over his ring, and stares into worried eyes, he smiles.

Sawada Tsunayoshi does not mind this, because he loves his precious people.

Even if they do not love him.

* * *

It is years before anything. Tsunayoshi is fifteen and growing, short and soft, with one toe still placed into the hint of childhood and his eyes bright with the gentle boldness of youth. He walks up to the front of the doors to the room of the strongest seven. He braces himself, clutching a tupperware box in his hands -like that was going to fend off bullets- and shakily opens the door.

And it is oh so very dark in there.

And what scares him the most is that no one complains about the lack of light.

The table is a round one, set in the center of the room with a small dim light hanging just above the table. There are seven people surrounding it. The chairs are no more than an arm's length apart, but they all are so distant with each other, they might as well be in different countries.

And Tsuna is their Sky.

And Tsuna is just fifteen.

And Tsuna is weak.

And Tsuna has just learned about the mafia.

And Tsunayoshi sees them, and he just _knows_ that he is right where he is meant to be.

He offers them all cookies, and as he walks around, his eyes take in the people he will come to know.

Verde has the prettiest pair of green eyes he has ever seen, along with similarly colored hair. He doesn't even glance at him, but he does move his hands slightly to let Tsuna see his work. Judging by the way he is still writing, he isn't even aware of it. Tsuna sucks at science, but he looks anyway, trying to find something he knew. He fails, but he does give an apreciative nod, after all, he may be a Dame, but he can acknowledge thoe who aren't, and the way Verde works is amazing. Verde straightens himself up in his chair and signs his name in big, elegant fancy lettering on the bottom. He tries to keep his eyes on his papers, but he does give the cookies a oddly mistrustful and longing glance. Then he sees Tsuna looking. Tsuna gives him a smile, and Verde nods.

Verde is afraid of not being worthy in others eyes.

Viper, or Mammon rather, sits slightly hunched, trying to dissapear while keeping his face towards the numbers he was punching in. As Tsuna walks by, he sits up straighter, and tries to ward him off through body language. Subtly, his hand comes up to cover the tattoos on his face, and pulls the hood down longer.

Mammon was afraid of being put down.

Skull eagerly grabs a cookie, takes a huge bite, then begins to praise him happily. He shouts and tries to keep Tsuna's attention. He looks as if being talked to is the best thing to ever happen to him, and when Tsuna walks past, Skull gets a downtrodden expression, but perks up everytime Tsuna's eyes fall on him. His eyes brighten when anyone in the group tells him to shut up or to stop being annoying.

Skull was terrified of never being noticed.

Lal Mirch glares at him as he walks past and refuses his cookie. He smiles brighter because it had been the first time that someone had verbally told him that they didn't want a cookie. He may be patient, but manners had been drilled into him since birth. Lal is staring at him like he was defying her very exsistence, like he was a threat. Her hand subtly passes her gun as he walks by, and Tsuna smile dims a little.

Lal was afraid of others doubting her strength as a woman.

Fon has been watching him the whole time, placid smile never leaving. As he goes to offer him a cookie, he grins as Fon bows slightly and takes one. His hands lightly brush Tsuna's as they go. Fon's eyes try to memorize each and every detail of his face. His fingers flutter past his pulse. His nostrils flare ever so slightly as he takes in Tsuna's scent. Tsuna slows his steps and lets him, because while to most this was odd behavior, Tsuna knows better.

Fon is terrified of losing people. He is also afraid of forget those he has lost.

And even though they just met, Tsuna is a Sky. It is in any flame's instinct to protect one.

So he lets Fon finish, lets him commit him to memory.

Because he is kind that way.

And now Reborn.

Reborn is wearing a sharp Italian suit, with a sleek fedora hat and polished dress shoes. His eyes are pitch black and like Fon, he has been watching Tsuna the whole time. Only Fon had been watching to know. Reborn had been watching for threats.

Tsuna feels somewhat shabby, dressed in his soft orange sweater, faded denim jeans, sneakers, and a pair of mittens hung around his neck. His long tail of hair has been pulled back in a messy ponytail down his back. The top is as untameable as ever, though.

And Reborn makes the chair look happy to be there as he lounges in it, showing off his alpha dog status while still being on alert. He has locked eyes with Tsuna now, and Tsuna doesn't have to fake a smile as he offers him a cookie. And because the man hasn't given him an inkling of a response, he says.

"Would you like a cookie?"

And Reborn stares for a minute before shaking his head.

"Sorry, but no, I don't like sweets." Reborn tilts his fedora down to cover his eyes, but his body language remains open. So Tsuna tries a different tack.

"O-Oh?" Curse his stutter! "W-Well, would you like some expresso then? I just made it," Aaaannd he has forgotten how to complete a sentence. Damn it. "Outside," he finishes lamely.

Reborn stares from beneath the brim. Then he snorts.

"Do you really expct me to believe that a brat like you can make coffee? It's probably poison." Reborn has a beautiful baritone to his voice with the barest hint of an Italian accent.

Tsuna sees the hidden meaning behind the words. He ducks his head while still smiling, eyes shadowed by his bangs.

"Well then," he smiles, and pours two cups, one in front of Reborn, and one stays in his hands. "We can go sip for sip if you don't believe me."

He is persistent because that is how he knows he will reach Reborn. Because Reborn isn't scared of trusting, but rather having trust broken. And Tsuna gets that. So he takes a sip of coffee, and he waits.

Reborn eyes widen in the barest of tiny fractions and Tsunayoshi smiles at him again. Reborn doesn't move to take the cup, but he does start to twirl his curly sideburns and Tsuna says to him,

"I think that your sideburns are adorable."

Tsuna was pleased with his lack of a stutter. Reborn stares at him, then he picks up the cup. He maintains eye contact as he sips, and after he does, he slowly sets the cup down.

"Passable, Dame-Tsuna," Tsuna just grins, ear to ear and suddenly, for Reborn, the dark room gets just a little bit brighter. He lives a life in the shadows and yet...

He can't bring himself to mind.

 _(He wants to make you happy...)_

* * *

And the passage of time goes ever so slowly, but in the best way. Tsuna, at fifteen, is happier then he has ever been.

Because Tsuna is not alone.

Because he loves these people.

And because they love him.

He is not a saint, but he does know how to pick up the cracked shards of ice around a heart without damaging it. He does know how to break down walls without making a sound. And above all things, he knows how to love.

And he gives away his heart freely, to his family. It takes time, but one day, they gave him a piece of theirs back. The difference? Tsuna gave his all away... And he can never get it back. But that's fine. He doesn't want to anyways.

* * *

Skull takes hims out drinking one night after a particularly bad mission. Tsuna, being a rather weak person, had taken a bad hit while invading enemy territory and Skull had been taking it hard. Despite his rather cheerful appearance, Skull had been taking the angry jeers from the others to heart. And Tsuna was no fool because he knew that even though Skull was rather irresponsible, the way his eyes linger on Tsuna's wounded shoulder speaks worlds to one who knows how to look for that sort of thing. Skull is blaming himself. Skull is blaming himself and he is terrified that Tsuna is going to hate him and leave him alone. And Tsuna knows he lets Skull support him onto his bike even though his legs are fine, and he lets Skull hold him close as if he's terrified Tsuna will leave.

Because Tsuna is kind.

When they get to the bar, and Skull orders Tsuna a drink and Skull laughs because Tsuna is a complete and total lightweight, a couple thugs decide that Tsuna is to be their night's fix.

"Hey, hottie, why don't cha ditch this punk and gettcha 'self a real man." At this Thug A flexes his muscles and grabs himself suggestively, smirking in a way he must've thought was seductive but to Tsuna was just creepy. "One who has the balls to make you scream in pleasure."

Skull flinches and rears back if struck. Tsuna feels a strange heat inside of him because Skull is a better man than any of these punks hope to be and above that, Skull is Tsuna's friend and let it not be said that any of Tsuna's friends gets insulted while Tsuna just sits by and does nothing.

"I'm sorry, but my _friend_ is more of a man than you will ever be," he states, and Thug A's face turns red and Skull looks at Tsuna like he has given him the world. Tsuna memorizes that face, that happy expression because it's the best thing he has seen all day. That look fits Skull's face like a glove.

The moment is broken by Thug A when he roughly grabs Tsuna's injured shoulder and Tsuna cries out in pain.

Skull has never moved so fast.

He may be the weakest, but he is one of the strongest in the world and one does not get that title without some credibility. Skull wasn't a fighter, but no one insults Tsuna and gets away with it.

And if you hurt Tsuna... well then, may the heavens help you.

They ended up getting kicked out and spent the rest of the night walking from bar to bar, and in the end it was Tsuna who was supporting Skull on the long walk back home, chuckling because Skull says some ridiculous things while drunk.

But it is when they are lying on the couch back home, or rather Skull is lying down, and he has dragged Tsuna down with him to be his pillow that Skull speaks without a slur.

"Tsuna...promise me that you won't leave me, okay? Please promise. I'm so sorry for letting you get hurt, I'm so..." He trails off, and Tsuna can feel wet tears on his shirt and pants from where Skull is in his lap.

Tsuna...hates seeing people cry. And the wound was not Skull's fault. So he promises.

Because he is kind.

And Skull curls up and goes to sleep with a smile on his face.

Tsuna frowns however, and resolves himself.

He needed to get stronger so that people wouldn't be hurt or feel guilt because of him again.

And as he thinks this, his eyes bleed from honey brown to and orange gold, stark in the dark of the night.

 _(Have you ever tried to catch a cloud?)_

* * *

Tsunayoshi sometimes stays up at night, especially when his Hyper Intution needles at him. So when his mind starts ringing alarm bells and the door to the kitchen opens, he tenses. And he relaxes immediately when he sees Mammon at the door.

Mammon's shoulders are sagging, and for once he is dressed down, wearing a soft purple shirt and sweatpants, with his long hair covering his eyes.

His cheeks have tear tracks on them.

Another nightmare, then.

Tsuna doesn't pounce like he wants to, but he does get up and walk over to the fridge to pour the esper a glass of strawberry milk. Mammon sits. Tsuna sets the glass down, and sits.

And they are quiet.

"...How much for the milk."

"Free, as usual," Tsuna replies, falling easily into the familiar greeting. Then,

"I won't charge you if you stay."

And Tsuna nods, smiling gently.

"I will take you up on your bargain then." The both of them knew that Tsuna could've had to pay a billion dollar fine and he still would have stayed. Mammon knows this, but this is how he communicates, because he is used to all things having a price. And Tsuna knows this, so he doesn't mind.

In the dark and the in the silence of the night, Tsuna's voice, in its hushed whisper, is like the soft sounding of church bells. Then Mammon wants to laugh because he doesn't go to church.

 _'Demon Child!'_

A shard of the nightmare that stirred him from a fitful slumber pierces his mind and he stiffens. He relaxes soon enough but nothing gets past Tsuna. And though they all put on airs, they are all grateful that someone watches and reaches out like Tsuna does. Because deep, deep, deep down in their cold hearts, they are all. so. lonely.

And Tsuna knows this.

Because Tsuna is kind.

"Will...will you tell me? About your nightmare, Mammon?" Tsuna is looking at him like he is the reason for Tsuna's being, like Tsuna needed him.

Mammon, cradling the glass, just looks away.

Mammon had always been greedy.

And if he wanted, he could just take Tsuna away. He could scoop him up and stare at his eyes, lock him in an illuson and just _keep him-_

 _Pale skin lashed with blood strokes like a demented painter took the brush._

He could-

 _His own thumbs pressed on the eyelids of deep brown eyes._

Tsuna would be-

 _He shoves his thumbs in, and Tsuna screams as illusions wreck his mind and Mammon' s hands wreck his face-_

A warm body sits next to his, and soft hands pat his head gently, reaching up just a bit to do so.

Tsuna had once told him that he had adored the color of his hair. It had been the first time anyone had complemented him, ever.

In the underworld, his talents were recited with fear or scorn or terrified respect.

When he was little, people tried to burn him alive for witchcraft.

And Tsunayoshi thought that his tattoos were 'cool'

"You...don't have to tell me, Mammon," Tsuna says in his pure church bell voice, eyes wide and soft and orangey brown.

"...No..." If he says anymore, his voice will break.

Tsuna nods, but he doesn't push.

He never does, because Tsuna is kind.

One day, Mammon might tell Tsuna. One day, he may divulge his past. But he knows that he has a the time in the world, and that Tsuna will never ever force him to tell, and that Tsuna has immeasurable patience. Mammon...likes that. That looseness of time. That freeness. And Tsuna's patience.

Tsuna is a saint.

And later, when Mammon falls asleep on Tsuna's shoulder, it is Tsuna who puts him back to bed, staying by his side, just in case the nightmares come again.

Just in case.

 _(Have you ever tried to embrace the mist?)_

* * *

It is hot. It is so, so, so, so hot and Tsuna skin is burning and it hurts and he just wants to die because the pain is so bad and it won't stop-

Verde, meanwhile, is in what one might call a calm frenzy.

Papers are strewn everywhere along with pens, books, test tubes and whatever else is in the man's way. And yet the look on his face is one of frightening calm.

Tsuna has been poisoned.

And if he can't make an antidote, then Tsuna has only twelve minutes left to live.

And that thought scares Verde more than he would like to admit.

The needle has gone under testing. Tsuna has gone under testing. Hell, Verde tried to remake the damn thing because then he would know what he was facing, but no.

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

Tsuna...Tsuna was...

"Ver...de."

Tsunayoshi voice is a harsh croak that grates his ears. He doesn't look back, because if he does, he'll see his failure and he'll once again be worthless and Tsuna believes in him and-

"Verde!" Sharper, attention grabbing.

Reluctantly, he turns his body to face the teen on the bed and he walks forwards.

 _(It's not my fault that we fight! If you would just spend time with your boy-)_

 _(And if I was worthy-)_

"It...'s fi..ne," Tsuna looks at him, eyes glazed over from pain and poison and somehow, somehow, he manages to convey everything he wants to say in his last few minutes.

 _"Every thing is going to be alright"_

 _"I trust you"_

 _"Don't worry, just focus"_

 _"I promise, I will be fine"_

Verde takes in a breath, steels himself, and tries again.

Tsunayoshi lets out a scream from the bed and as he whips around, he feels the blood drain from his face.

Tsunayoshi is on fire.

And the flames, are so very, very pure but that does not matter because TSUNAYOSHI IS ON FIRE.

As the bright fire on his forehead dies down, an odd steam pours from Tsuna's mouth and eyes. Then he relaxes, without making a sound.

Verde, fearing the worst, rushes over to Tsuna's side, and places his hand against the teen's forehead.

It is just warm enough.

He checks the pulse.

It is regular.

He smooths his hands down to Tsuna's chest, pressing his hands against his heartbeat.

It is like the thudding of a soft drum.

He lets out a shaky breath, Tsuna is fine.

Tsuna is fine.

Tsuna is fine.

Tsuna is fine.

And he says this to himself over and over again as he moves away to get a small blanket to give to the exhausted teen on his bed.

Tsuna almost died.

He had almost failed.

And if Tsunayoshi was awake, he would be berating Verde for blaming himself. And he would tell him that he does not have to prove to Tsuna that he is worth something. And that the poison wasn't his fault. And to ' _quit moping because you're already great, Verde."_

And Verde is torn between hating himself for basking in those words that have been told to him all the time, and taking pleasure in the fact that Tsuna truly cared about him.

He looks to the teen on the bed, and sighs, running fingers through his hair. Turning back to his computer screen, he begins to take down the notes of what just happened, just because he doesn't want this to ever happen, ever.

Sky flames or no, he was never letting Tsuna volunteer to do tests again.

 _(When I was younger, I used to catch lightning bugs in jars! Oh it was such fun!)_

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _(I...really, really, really miss those days...)_

* * *

Lal Mirch takes him to CEDEF headquaters one day.

Or rather, she tosses him out of bed with monster strength, throws him into the shower while it is freezing, the drags him out by his ear to the car.

Okay.

When they get there, Tsuna finds himself more relieved than he should have been to find that his father was out on a mission of some sort. It wasn't like he hated the man, but his father did not want Tsuna, and so Tsuna did not want him. Simple as that.

Lal takes him on a tour of the building, and when they get to the training grounds, Lal is glomped by a man with hair the color of fool's eyes are the bluest eyes Tsuna has ever seen. He is bright and cheerful, with a joke on hand and and smile on at all times. No wonder Lal likes him.

He watches as Colonello -such a strong name- laughs and flirts with Lal and grins.

Lal catches him mid-Colonello-slap. He winces.

"And what are you smiling about?" Colonello is dropped to a laughing, flirting heap on the ground.

"Oh~nothing," he chuckles, and gives Lal and inside wink. "Just thinking of baby names..."

Lal flushes pink.

"Why you little-!"

Colonello laughs.

"I can see why you like this one, kora!" The two boys share a secret smile.

"Hmmm...Barnabas?"

"Nello?"

"Matthew?"

"Mr. Nello?"

"Rick?"

"Soldierita?"

"Marcus?"

"Lalnelloco?"

Tsuna pauses.

"What in the hell was that last one?"

Colonello laughs again, and Tsuna decides that he likes the way Colonello laughs. It sounds like the strong rain on the windows.

In their amusment, they have made a terrible mistake.

They have forgotten about Lal.

A dark aura seeps from behind them, and as one, the two males pale.

Lal pulls out a rifle from nowhere and takes aim.

It is frighteningly close to Colonello's man bits.

"...You have five seconds."

They both take off running with Lal behind them and Tsuna laughs even though rubber bullets are bouncing off the walls.

 _'The both of you...I hope that you find happiness...'_

 _(Some people feel the rain._

 _Others just get wet.)_

* * *

Sometimes, Tsuna goes for walks in the mornings.

The best ones are where Fon joins him.

Fon is his eye in the storm. His one speck of sanity in a raging world. Sometimes they talk. Other times they don't, but it doesn't matter.

The two grow close anyways.

And as they sit together, beneath a sakura tree, and Fon hums a low tune beneath his breath and Lichi makes a comfy nest in his hair, well.

Tsuna finds the calm quite nice.

And as Fon's fingers discreetly find the pulse on his wrist, he doesn't bring himself to mind, taking comfort in the small action.

Tsunayoshi is kind like that.

 _(When it storms outside, he sits on the porch and watches. The noise brings him peace.)_

* * *

The alleyway is dank and disgusting, rank with the scent of odd waste, gunpowder and blood.

There is so much redness that Reborn can barely remember what the other colors look like.

There is a splash from behind him, and he swings around with his gun at the ready-

Tsunayoshi is staring wide eyed down the barrel of a handgun, eyes wide as he looks at him.

Swiftly, he yanks his hand away, throat closing up violently as he realizes that he almost killed Tsuna.

He almost killed his sky.

And now Tsuna, pure, sweet, innocent, kind, soft skinned, smiling, bright eyed Tsuna is standing in front of him with blood soaked sneakers, hair just barely flattened by the rain. There are groceries in his hands, his realizes dully through the red in hs vision and the ringing in his ears. And there are ingredients to make one of his favorites, chicken alfredo.

Tsuna is gripping the bag, staring at him and it is then that he realizes that he is standing in an alleyway filled with corpses and he made those people into corpses and Tsuna, pure Tsuna, is afraid and **he does not want Tsuna to see him as a monster.**

It would kill him.

Shakily, the gun is raised to his own temple.

At the same time, Tsuna's eyes go huge and he jumps, dropping the groceries and grabbing Reborn's hand.

The gunshot fires.

And thank anyone who's listening that it just knocks the fedora off Reborn's head.

And that the gun is on the floor.

And that Tsuna is clutching him close, uncaring of the blood soaking his clothes.

His is wearing white today, and it the only good color in his surroundings.

"Oh my gosh-Reborn I thought that you were- and then you- Oh my gosh I thought that- And the gun- Ohmygosh-" Tsuna cuts off, and now there are tears flooding his gaze. Reborn feels an odd stirring in his gut because it is he who has made those tears.

Tsuna's face...it doesn't look right crying.

"Reborn..you almost died..."

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Tsuna wasn't afraid of him.

He was afraid _for_ him.

And as he let's himself be hugged close, he thinks that Dame-Tsuna is going to get himself killed one day, because he will give away too much kindness.

Reborn doesn't want Tsuna to ever stop beng kind.

So he will just have to be there to save Tsuna when that happens.

And he knows that it will.

Because Tsunayoshi is kind.

 _(You are my sunshine...my only sun...shine...you makeme...hap...py..when my skies are...grey-_

 _Tsuna hiccups as he sings in his garden_

 _And tears hit the floor)_

* * *

They are happy.

They are family.

And Tsuna is happy.

And Tsuna is still kind.

And on his sixteenth birthday, he makes a promise.

" _I will never, ever hurt you. You are my elements, and I am your Sky, and I shall protect you all."_

Tsuna promises a lot.

And he never regrets it

Because they are as close as family can be.

Then the Curse blew it all to hell.

* * *

The day after the Cursed Day, they all scuttle around each other, like black cats, each one afraid to cross the others path.

These forms are humiliating.

At least for them, but when Tsuna woke up and he was the exact same way as he was before but wearing an orange pacifier he didn't understand.

Then he coughed blood into the sink, and feels the drain on his core.

Oh.

He was...dying.

And he couldn't tell anyone because none of them wanted to talk to him anymore.

He had failed.

* * *

Lal leaves first, Colonello in tow.

 _(The future is black as pitch.)_

They leave behind a page of wedding plans.

Whether out of spite or not he does not know, but it still stabs him in the chest.

Especially since he sees the words underneath 'Best Man'

 _Sawada Tsunayoshi_.

He doesn't cry.

He won't cry.

He will be strong.

And he says that to himself for days as the absence of his spirited rain drives a crack into his heart.

And as they leave him, like the picking of petals from a flower, that crack splits wider and wider.

* * *

 _He has started a garden now, because he needs something that needs him. And he plants many things, but in the very back, he places eight pots. One for everyone._

 _Lal gets Gladiolus- strong spirited._

 _Colonello gets Stephanotis-Good luck, because that man didn't have to do what he did._

 _And Tsuna barely knew him, but he still wished them both the best._

* * *

One day, Mammon answers the door to a blond boy with bangs covering his eyes and a crown on his head.

He pretends not to see the way Mammon sits on the prince's shoulder.

He pretends that Mammon had been talking to him and smiling, not matter how slight, at him too.

And when Mammon turns to him, and he says,

"I'm leaving."

He gives away gifts, he pretend to smile, he pretends like he is happy for this opportunity, and he pretends that he thinks he will see Mammon again.

And Mammon leaves.

And the crack splits more.

And Tsuna still refuses to cry.

* * *

 _Mammon gets yellow Poppies -wealth and success. Because that is what he wishes for him._

* * *

Fon just goes.

He gets no warning, no goodbye, no nothing.

He just wakes up, feels something _wrong_ , crawls to Fon's room because he has been coughing blood for days now and he can barely move but he doesn't tell anyone because they have their own problems and Tsuna-

Tsuna has to be strong.

And when he opens to door, leaning on it as his vision blurs, he sees the window open and all of Fon's possesions gone.

He does not go walking that morning.

Or anymore.

And, Tsuna still will not cry.

* * *

 _Fon gets a scarlet Zinnia, because Fon was his one constant, his eye of the storm, and his friend._

* * *

It is when they all sit down for dinner one day that things come to a head.

It starts when Skull yells about Reborn being a bully.

Reborn starts an argument.

Verde ands fuel to the fire.

Tsuna treis to intervene.

"You guys, please don't fight-"

And Reborn whirls on him and his mind flashes back to that night in the rain and-

"You. Don't. Speak. To. Me."

He has never, never heard more venom in a man's voice.

Seeing his expression, Reborn just snaps.

He is yelling at Tsuna, and even though he doesn't hear what Reborn is saying over the buzz in h ears, his eyes fill with tears. Upon seeing them, Reborn looks triumphant and keeps going, his mouth keeps spitting awful, awful things.

The tears in his eyes are blinked back and do not spill over.

"-All your fault!"

And nothing.

Nothing.

Tsuna does not say a word.

His eyes become hidden by his bangs.

And he gets up from the table, leaving a full plate of food behind.

He doesn't really eat anymore anyways. He ends up puking it all back up in the end.

And he goes upstairs.

And he shuts the door to his room.

No slamming, just a soft click.

Then he curls up into a ball on the ground, and does not cry.

He is too tired.

He just whimpers softly as his poor, kind little heart splits in two.

* * *

 _Skull gets Lavender-Admiration and Solitude_

 _Verde gets Pink Carnations- I will never forget you_

 _And then Reborn._

 _Rebon gets a Daffodil-because Reborn was his Sun and the sun always shone brighter when he was with him._

 _And when that is all done, he plants Asphodels._

 _I'm sorry_

 _I'm sorry_

 _I'm sorry_

 _I'm sorry_

 _I'm sorry_

 _I'm sorry_

 _I'm sorry_

 _I'm sorry_

 _And he coughs, and the petals get stained with blood, and he hopes that his blood will pay back for his broken promise._

 _'i shall protect you all'_

 _He can only hope._

* * *

Weeks later, he decides to leaves the old and empty house. It is also then that he hears from the other Arcobaleno.

Mammon sends him a check.

Fon sends him a box of white tea.

Lal sends him a set of knives.

Colonello sends him a pair of army boots.

Skull sends him a motorcycle helmet.

Verde sends him a videogame.

He gets a small picture from Reborn, of him and his cute little Leon standing together by a lake.

And it is then that he cries because he doesn't want money he wants _Mammon_ and he doesn't want tea he wants _Fon_ and he doesn't want knives he wants _Lal_ and he doesn't want boots he wants _Colonello_ and he doesn't want a helmet he wants _Skull_ and he doesn't want a game he wants _Verde_ and he doesn't give a damn about where in the hell Reborn is because he wants to get down on his knees and say he's _sorry_ -

And Tsuna cries.

And he leaves, his only compainion, Byakuran, leading him out.

And those blood stained flowers die.

He does see them again.

He sees Reborn first, after getting a flyer in the mail.

He wonders why Reborn comes to see him, but then he looks into the baby's eyes.

Reborn has forgotten him.

And that night, Tsuna curls up and cries himself to sleep.

He almost wishes he won't wake up.

* * *

( _Hayato thinks Tsuna has saved him. Tsuna smiles at him and nods his head when he asks to be his subordinate. Because that's what Hayato calls a friend, and the first thing he does as a friend to Hayato is cough blood on his shoulder as he falls._

 _He asks Reborn to not use those bullets again.)_

* * *

He sees Skull and Colonello on Mafia Island.

Colonello pretends to have never met him.

Skull...glances at him, then looks away so fast it could have been a trick.

Tsuna...Tsuna can't cry tonight.

He is having trouble breathing.

* * *

 _(Yamamoto wants to die. And Tsuna, who is going to die, alone and helpless, has never felt more angry with another person in his life. He runs up to the rooftop, scolds him and drags him away._

 _He has a life left to live._

 _And as Tsuna's vision fades away from where he is standing on the edge of the roof_

 _And as he falls,_

 _He wonders if Reborn wants a Sky again._

 _And if he does,_

 _If he will want a half-dead one.)_

* * *

It's when the Varia appear that he sees Mammon again.

And he laughs, just a little, when Xanxus says that he will fight him for the Vongola.

Tsuna never wanted the Vongola.

The Vongola killed his mom.

The Vongola took his dad.

And the mafia took his life.

And when he says this, Reborn gives him a funny look and Xanxus gets a odd expression on his face.

Mammon sits on Belphagor's shoulder, and does not say a word.

Not a single word.

* * *

Lal Mirch is a surprise, and she talks to him too. She comes alongside his stupid father, who stares at his face with an odd longing, nods, then walks away to some bar.

Lal is the first one who remembers him to talk to him like a human being that they knew before.

"I...am so sorry, Lal."

"...I know."

She has not said 'I forgive you'

And he walks away

And they don't see each other again for a very long time.

* * *

 _(He doesn't speak to Mukuro. He doesn't have to._

 _He just catches the teen as he falls._

 _And as Mukuro looks up, he smiles gently._

 _He opens his mouth to speak, but Mukuro has already fallen unconsious._

 _Later, when Mukuro possesses Chrome and wraps him up in his arms,_

 _He says that when Tsuna smiled at him_

 _He thought that Tsuna was an angel._

 _Tsuna had been startled and flattered all at once._

 _It didn't stop him from keeping Mukuro's hands away from his behind though.)_

* * *

He had thought that with the arrival of I-pin, he would have seen Fon sooner.

(And when he sees Hibari, it hits him like a thousand pound hammer to the gut. Hibari had seemed so surprised when the little animal had teared up and reached hands out to his face whispering "I'm sorry." over and over.)

And when he sees Irie pop up talking about his friend who is brilliant and has green hair, he had thought that he woud see Verde sooner.

But no, he sees them when he is getting over the fact that he has just killed his beloved Mare sky who went crazy after seeing Tsuna die at the hands of his own father, who couldn't stand seeing his dead wife's face every time he looked at Tsuna.

According to what he had heard, he had been strangled to death. He laughs about that in private because that feels like a little victory.

The pacifer didn't get him in the end then.

But as Verde ignores him and Fon looks aside, he sobers.

After all, Byakuran, his wonderful Byakuran, is dead.

And now, now that the Arcobaleno are back from the 'dead', after he nearly killed himself to bring them back, he supposes they will never forgive him.

And now the ring and the pacifier are going to kill him.

And he just wants his family back.

He closes his eyes.

If a few tears trickle out, no one will blame him.

* * *

 _(Ryohei runs every morning, and when he passes Tsuna, Tsuna gives him a bottle of water._

 _He wouldn't have thought that that would be enough to start a friendship with the boxer._

 _But what did he know?)_

* * *

It is when Checkerface gives them all the same dream and he says that they can all be normal again that Tsuna finally sees the wheel start to turn.

Because he knows how the cycle works.

And Checkerface knows how he knows this.

And when Checkerface told him, Tsuna knew what he had to do.

* * *

 _(When Lambo arrives Tsuna treats him kindly, like he would any other child._

 _Then the ten-year bazooka comes out to play._

 _Fifteen year old Lambo sees him and his eyes tear up,_

 _Then he grabs him close._

 _Tsuna doesn't understand until Lambo's fingers brush past the pocket where he keeps his pacifier and his heart skips a beat_

 _Oh._

 _He loves his precious people._

 _So why does he keep hurting them?!)_

* * *

The final battle and Tsunayoshi's poor soul has been run raw from seeing the true forms of his family.

He has not taken a representitive.

But he does fight Bermuda, because there is no way in hell that this kind of person is going to insult his family without getting his ass beat.

And he doesn't care that he is using as many flames as he is despite the fact that he might die, and he doesn't care that his skin is starting to burn or that his shirt has burned away, revealing his pacifier to the world.

He can do this because he is selfish.

And because he is kind, even with his heart as cracked as it is.

And when Talbot appears and passes him the contraption that he asked him to build, and when Reborn looks at him wondering what the hell he is doing and the other Arcobaleno stare at him with different eyes that he gives them all a genuine smile.

 _(Goodness, how long had it been since he had smiled?)_

And as he feeds his flames into the sphere, he just lets it all go.

The pain.

The guilt.

And every single speck of his flames.

And as he finishes, and as he falls, and as he sees the adult faces of his elements, he smiles.

He expects them to let him fall.

So when Reborn of all people catches him, he is so surprised.

And when he feels Fon's hand tangle with his and his fingers go for his pulse he is surprised.

And as he sees Skull's tears.

And as he sees Lal's heartbroken eyes.

And as he watches Verde clench his fists.

And as he feels Mammon's hand slide into his other one.

And as Colonello hides his face in Lal's shoulders.

He smiles.

Because Tsuna is kind.

 _'They do care about me... I'm so, so, so, happy...'_

Something wet on his face has him looking up at Reborn, who has silent tears trickling down his cheeks.

"Why?" He has never heard so much fragility in a man's voice.

Tsuna has known the answer since that day he walked into that dark little room with a round table and a tupperware box of cookies as his protection.

"Because all of you are my precious people," he says.

Reborn swallows, and his tears fall onto Tsuna's own cheeks, running down his face. Tsuna is grateful because he has no energy to cry, and he has cried all his tears out a long time ago.

Reborn clutches him closer.

"Tsuna...I... **we**...are so, so, sorry."

And Tsuna just feels himself fall apart on the inside because the reason he could die peaceful was because he was sure no one would miss him too badly. And now?

Now that they wanted him.

And now they wanted forgiveness.

And Tsuna is kind.

"I for...give...you..."

Why now? Why now? Why of all the times now?

He doesn't want to die.

He wants to be with his family and laugh and move fowards into a brighter future.

But no one has ever cared about what Tsuna wants.

And life is never fair.

"Can...you...forgive..me?"

His vsion swings in and out.

Tsunayoshi is dying.

* * *

Reborn wants to scream, he wants to scream over the repressed memories that have come back. He wants to scream about how Tsuna doesn't deserve to die. And he wants to scream over his mistakes, how he never should have left.

But Tsuna doesn't need that.

Tsuna just wants one thing.

"O...Of course, Tsuna."

And Tsuna looks so, so, so happy. So happy, like the world had just become his and his alone.

"I'm...tired, Reborn." A small cough and blood trickles down Tsuna's lips.

And Reborn wants to do what he usually does, which is snort and say 'so?' as he forces a couple dozen more laps on Tsuna, but now...

He leans in brushes his lips to Tsuna forehead.

"Then go to sleep, Dame-Tsuna. Take a rest. You've done well."

And Tsuna's eyes slide shut, but not before he says a few more words.

"I love you guys..."

And then Reborn has to hide his face in Tsuna's neck as he cries, because Tsuna is still warm. And even as the body cools and the battle medics come, he stays by the body.

Some things should never change.

And he will live his new life to the fullest, because Tsuna has given it to him.

Because Tsuna is kind.

And that never changes.

No matter how cracked and chipped Tsuna's heart is, he is always, always so kind.

Always.

* * *

 _Once upon a long, long, long time ago, a boy lost his mother while in the market place._

 _The boy, tired and hungry, stumbled his way into an antique shop where he met a man._

 _The man, upon seeing him, made him a cup of warm tea and sat him down._

 _After a while, the man asked him a question._

 _'What is forgiveness?'_

 _And with the honesty of a pure and innocent child, the boy answered._

 _'It is the smell a flower makes when it is crushed...'_

 _The man nodded, ushered him out the door and into the arms of his mother._

 _He never saw that shop again._

* * *

 ** _Sawada Tsunayoshi_**

 ** _19XX-20XX_**

 ** _The one true sky_**

 ** _The one above all others_**

 ** _..._**

 ** _._**

 ** _._**

 ** _._**

 ** _we forgive you, Tsuna_**

 ** _we always will._**

 ** _the end._**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Aftermath

The paper before Fon's hands is blank, even though the pencil is poised just above it, ready to scribble down a half-hearted attempt to ease the suffering of a father. The Arcobaleno, the Vongola Guardians, the Varia, and the Millefiore were sitting in a round room, sprawled on couches, sitting on chairs, or leaning against walls. It was a beautiful room, with nice and tactful decorations and small and cute knick knacks here and there.

 _(It is funny because Tsuna met them all first in a round room.)_

Currently, the others were just looking at them.

No anger.

No resentment.

No...anything.

It's terrifying.

The only noise in the room is coming from Byakuran, who has his face shoved against the soft material of one of Tsuna's-did he even have the right to be so informal?- sweaters. Tsuna always got cold easily, Fon thought dully through a heated and unattached daze. Byakuran was sobbing, his black suit crisp and neat despite his red and messy face.

"Tsu-chan," he hiccuped and held the sweater closer, as if he could dreg up the last remnants of Tsuna's warmth through the soft white material. "Please...why did you...they didn't deserve it...they left you...so...why?" Fon flinches.

 _They didn't deserve it._

No...they didn't.

But Tsuna never cared about that.

"Who's...gonna sit with me and talk about nonsense and other worlds and manga and flowers? Who's gonna pester-hic-me and tell me-hic- to brush my teeth? Who...is gonna...scold me and keep me from eating too many marshmallows? Who's gonna...-hic-stay with me when I have night...mares?...-hic- Who's gonna..." He broke off here, and clutched the sweater so tight Fon could see the whitening of his knuckles,"...who's gonna be my **friend**?!" And now Kikyo comes forwards to try and soothe the hysterical boss, who was now crying so hard that he was coughing.

The others were no better, in their own way.

Gokudera looked like he was torn between being sick and breaking down.

Yamamoto was smiling, tears gushing down his face as he tried to wipe Lambo's tears away.

Ryohei was quiet.

Mukuro and Chrome, they were embracing one another, and as Chrome's shoulders shook and she hid her face, Mukuro was just staring out the window, a thin layer of emptiness covering a swirl of anger. His eyes were fixed on the sky outside.

It was gray.

Just gray.

No rain, no ironic sunshine, no wind to make the trees rustle with some broken semblance of life, no anything.

Just stillness.

Just gray.

 _(And that, in itself, was the world's spite._

 _'How dare you.'_

 _'How dare you leave,_

 _The one who loved you so much_

 _all alone?')_

His beloved nephew wasn't even facing the room, he wasn't even looking at anything outside.

His back was to the world.

He did not clench his fists.

His fingers did not twitch for his weapons.

His face did not move a muscle.

He just stood.

Quiet.

Lifeless.

* * *

 _'Fon! Fon! Geez, don't just stand there with that look on!'_

 _His eyes were so beautiful as he gave Fon a mock scolding._

 _'Here, smile a bit! Go on!' He did, why not? 'Ah~I knew it!'_

 _Knew what? Why didn't he hold this memory closer?_

 _'Fon looks so handsome when he smiles, like a model!'_

 _Tsuna...you didn't smile much after that day did you?_

 _Why didn't I notice?_

 _Why didn't I care?_

* * *

The Hours Before The Funeral.

The awful, final, funeral.

A pitch black funeral with flowers and salt and blood and anger and sadness and a dead Tsuna. A dead Tsuna. His mouth is bitter.

Tsuna and dead don't belong in the same sentence. Yet he put them there.

Fon...

Tsuna was just too kind.

He had to be.

Because Fon is a terrible man.

* * *

They are going to visit Iemitsu.

He doesn't know what has happened to his beloved son.

And it makes him worse than he already is but...Fon doesn't want to tell him. He wants to let the man live a lie, tell him son's run away to Australia. Tell him Tsuna's on the moon. Maybe then he can believe it too, and Tsuna won't really be dead.

Maybe then Tsuna will be okay. And he can apologize. And he can feel Tsuna's alive pulse again.

 _(The world wasn't fair to Tsuna._

 _Why shoul it be fair to him?)_

That man...he loves his son. Perhaps too much. But since his wife died, that man, his world was Tsuna. And now Tsuna was dead.

Still and dead.

Cold and dead.

Pale and dead.

Black swathed, lily cradled and DEAD.

 _why didn't you protect him?_

Before him, the blank paper was supposed to be filled with good words that would soothe a Father's suffering. Words that would help him move on.

But even if Shakespeare had sat down to pen a letter, Iemistu couldn't move on. Not from Tsuna.

None of them would.

Fon grits hs teeth, and crumples up the perfectly fine piece of paper in his fist, tossing it into the trash. The restrictive movement of the suit is not something he likes, but the feel of doing something physical was...it wasn't good, but it was okay. Just okay.

In the back, Xanxus was sitting at the table, swirling a glass of untouched wine in his hands.

Squalo occasionally stabs one of the pillows with his sword, then paces, then sits still and quiet, then paces again.

Lussuria fiddles with a small mirror, which has a frame made of baked clay. A gift from Tsuna, then. He always did love to give away gifts...especially handmade ones. With his eyes hidden by sunglasses, Fon can't read the others face but...

Levi stands at his boss' side, hands behind his back, eyes looking at the ring on Xanxus' finger. He toys with the leather strap to his coat.

Belphagor is playing a small game with himself, and over the buzz in his ears, Fon can barely catch it. There is a small mouse in his palms, and he lets it run a bit before catching it again. The smile on his face is wet.

"Bye-bye mouse. Come back mouse. Bye-bye mouse. Come back, don't leave again. The Prince commands that you come back and stay, mouse. Come on..." The prince is not looking at Mammon in the slightest.

They have all been broken.

Shit, they have all been so _broken_.

Tsuna has ruined them.

* * *

The Arcobaleno, by no will of their own, are all sitting on one side of the room.

Who wants to be around the killers?

Fon gets that. As he tries to write again, he gets that. Idly, he wonders what Tsuna would do-

Kyoko walks into the room with Haru, each holding a plate of cookies.

 _Oh please, please, please,please,please NO._

They too are dressed in black, viels about their faces, grim upon their lips.

Fon doesn't see that though, he just sees Tsuna, shy and growing with a toe placed into childhood and holding a box of warm chocolate chip cokies and offering him one and letting him memorize him and being so kind-

He...wanted to go back.

To that time.

To that day.

He wanted the Curse back, because then Tsuna would be here next to him, holding his hand and smiling and talking about how he loved the sound of crickets or how he loved the taste of lemon.

Tsuna loved a lot.

Too much.

He wasted a lot, too.

 _why do you want him back now?_

 _Because I didn't know what I had until he was gone._

 _All gone..._

 _Unable to get him back..._

* * *

It is a black day.

A black day, with black cars, and black smiles, and black clothes, and black souls, all in the pit of a pitch black summer.

And the black, like a stain of awful ink, just keeps on growing.

They line up on Iemistu's lawn, black, dark and sad.

And the birds sing their arrival from the tops of flowering trees.

This is wrong.

Don't be happy.

Tsuna is...

Reborn, eyes hidden by the brim of a black fedora, rings the doorbell. The sound is so out of place and shrill and wrong. Iemitsu opens the door, and he sees them, smiles, then sees what they are wearing and his goofy grin slips away.

"Where is my son."

Fon can't speak.

"Where is my son."

Verde can't meet his eyes.

"Where is my son."

Mammon turns away.

"Where is my son?"

The plea in his voice gets Lal moving fowards to place a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry..."

It is like watching the breaking of a wave upon a shore. Iemitsu's face falls, he loses the strength in his legs and his knees hit the pavement, His hand come up to hide his face.

The sobs come like rain.

One.

One two.

One two one hundred.

The Arcobaleno...

They...

.

.

.

Tsuna is too kind.

* * *

And the funeral goes.

And some cry.

And some stay quiet.

And some hide away.

And some pray.

And some try to smile.

And all are numb.

And all are in black.

In the coffin, bedded by lilies, Tsuna is wearing a dark as coal suit against the paleness of his skin. His hair is still ridiculous, his eyes are shut, and the remnants of his last smile stick to his cheek. Fon clutches his hands to the flower he has been asked to drop in the grave even though they are still in the church and the thorns cut his palms so he squeezes harder because-

Fon wants to be strong.

The door to the church bangs open, and they turn sluggishly because who cares-

Kawahira is standing at the door holding a soft bright whit suit with an orange tie. There is a smile to his lips as the black of his suit and the white of his hair contrast against each other. There is a blood red rose on his lapel and he walks fowards with the suit sweeping behind him on the blood red carpet.

He waks towards the body, and no one stops him.

Then when he reaches the coffin, and his thigh brushes the black wood and he leans in close to Tsuna's face he whispers.

"Black does not suit you, Tsunayoshi. It's far too dark for someone like yourself." The suit is laid to rest on top of the body, and Fon does not smile, but his lips quirk up.

The corspe is still awful, but now...

Kawahira leans in close and murmurs something for only Tsuna to hear, and a secret flashes in his eyes. His eyes go misty, then he says,

"Thank you, Sawada Tsunayoshi."

And then he dissappears, not happy, but more okay. Now Tsuna was in his proper colors.

Fon hates that.

He hates that corpse.

He hates it.

Guilt is painful.

* * *

The end

The end.

The funeral is done.

Faces are red.

The sky is blue.

And nothing is going to be good again.

Fon knows that this is true.

He is at home now.

 _(Laughter, because Tsuna was gone so he would never have a home again.)_

The days passes.

Not slowly, not fast.

But it passes.

And as the cicadas chirp in goodnights, and the crickets sing Tsuna's favorite tune, He goes to bed.

He dreams, of course.

He dreams that he is sitting underneath a tree and Tsuna is curled up next to him. Tsuna voices is just the dregs from memory, and hs warmth is just the snippets of what feels like a forever ago. He is smiling and there is a flower petal in his hair.

The nightmares have begun.

Like dragons, they have been sleeping.

And now they are awake.

He grabs Tsuna and cries freely in his dream as Tsuna asks what was wrong, frantic as Fon wraps his hands around Tsuna's, finding his pulse.

 **It's a dream**

Stop it, no, let him sleep forever then. Here. With not dead Tsuna.

 **Wake up before you hurt yourself.**

He didn't have to hurt himself. Tsuna did that already so let him sleep. Here. With not dead Tsuna.

 **Wake up.**

The pulse is warm and good and right against his fingers, which have his own tears on them as he cries like a child.

Tsuna is slowing.

His pulse.

His breathing.

His everything.

 _ **no no no no no i don't want to remember him dead please stop let me have this just this-**_

 **you don't deserve it.**

He wakes up, expecting to see a dead Tsuna in his grasp and he doesn't and Fon just breaks down in his bed as he lies there as prone and pathetic as a lamb. His eyes rest on a photo from before sadness and it's just him and I-pin.

 _don't let me forget._

He tears up his house, but there is nothing Tsuna. Nothing. No photos or clothes or books or anything at all.

His house is a mess.

He looks a mess.

Mess, mess, mess, mess.

What had happened to him?

Oh.

Tsuna ruined him.

Tsuna and his kindness and sweetness and dameness and pulse-

They ruined him.

Then his mind flashes back to flower drowned gravestone.

no.

no.

no.

that was a lie.

 _He had ruined Tsuna._

* * *

 **A/N: I'm done. It is so late and I am me.**

 **Q: What about D.B?**

 **A: haha lol whut?**

 **So yeah, I did continue this but don't expect too much. I don't have a lot of ideas. This was hard because Fon is hard and next chapter might be either Mammon or Natsu.**

 **This is a fail chapter, I know. But don't worry, I might rewrite it soon.**

 **I am sorry for the oocness. And for typos. And for sleep speak. Will you tell me what you think? Or your ideas? I would love to hear from you guys. It makes my day.**

 **Sleep now.**

 **Ciao~**

 **Pink.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Adonis

Sorrowful Rememberance

One Week Later

.

.

.

 _In the morning_

 _I will be with you_

 _It will just be a different kind._

 _I am so sorry._

 _._

 _._

 _._

It is with tired and strained bones that Natsu walks up the hill to his master's coffin.

The bones beneath are young. Too young.

The body beneath is still sad. Too sad.

And the flames that once burned so bright in such a small body are long since snuffed.

In that coffin, Tsuna is bedded by the cushion of flowers. Tsuna was always planting flowers. His favorites were lilies, but he was always planting Asphodels.

* * *

 _"Ah~ maybe this time. Ne, Natsu? They'll come back, right?" Orange brown eyes go somewhat scared as they fall into hoods. Nastu growls in worry and licks his master's palm. Tsuna snaps back. He laughs, strained like the too tight strings of a harp. "That's right Natsu! Got to keep my head up, nothing bad ever lasts forever!" His face falls into an odd expression. The kind of sadness that haunts only those who desire the unattainable. "...right?"_

 _The gifts come a day later._

 _He had never seen Tsuna cry so much._

* * *

Natsu didn't know much, but he was a smart little lion and one day he found out that Asphodels meant "I'm sorry."

What was he supposed to do?

Tsuna...did nothing wrong.

But Tsuna would never know that.

Because he was so stupidly kind and tossing hearts to killers and his patience to thieves and his honesty to a world were all of those things would just drag you down into hell. And even in the very final, bitter end Tsuna still blamed himself. Blamed himself beyond all recognition and it still sat with him as he rotted in his death.

Natsu knows. He is his master's lion. His weapon. His friend. He knows.

Natsu could only stay alive for as long as there were flames sustaining him.

And Tsuna was dead.

There was nothing.

Natsu looks like a shadow of his former self, with gauntness that clings to his form and his mane almost gone and his bone creaking and age weary.

Natsu was one year old.

And he was dying too.

Like Tsuna.

Because Natsu was a loyal box weapon who would follow Tsuna to the end of the universe and back again. He was Tsuna's friend.

And for the last time, he walks his way to Tsuna's grave in the mornig, the time when dew hung like teardrops and new sun shone through leaves and white dogwood blossoms.

The sky was a pale orange.

Natsu walks, out of breath as his little legs work to push him up a the steep hill to where Tsuna lay in his coffin above the ground and swathed in flowers and white.

It hurts, it exhausts him, but if he must die, it will be at the side of his master.

Where he belongs.

Always where he belongs.

* * *

Iemitsu is standing just over his son's grave, a single rose clutched in his palm as he smiled shakily at the coffin.

"Hey...Tsu-fish, it's me, your Papa..."

Is his voice shaking? He can't hear over the rushing in his ears.

"I...wanted to see you before I had to leave...they want me back in Japan...they're saying it's a small vacation."

He is leaving again. Again. Again. His son just died but the Vongola need him and he was always saying stupid shit like- _family first, Tsuna. Family first, Nana. Family first, always Nono. My son will do fine, Nono. Family first._

 _where is my son?_

 _where is my..._

 _oh._

 _...why..._

Is his face set into that smile he trained himself to put on?

The smile that hid the overwhelming emotion of being with his family again or seeing his wife's body shot up or seeing his son holding a gun for the first time and pointing it at another human or seeing his dead boy-

His dead boy.

His dead boy.

His dead son, dead boy, dead _baby._

His son was always the sweetest kid when he was younger. In the rare phone call or letter, his wife would coo over there sweet son.

"Oh he's so kind and cute dear! You have to come and see him!"

"Oh, darling, he's always so helpful around the house! Ah~darling you have to visit soon!"

"Iemistu, your son is so kind but kids treat him so badly, you should come and..."

"Darling? I...I think this might be our last call...I love you dear...and Tsuna too. You...know that...right? You know that I love you- _bang!_ "

Iemistu hated guns.

And he hated leaving.

And now he was leaving his son again and he couldn't even tell him right because Tsuna-

Why can't the world just let him have his son?

Alive?

Happy?  
Whole?  
Unbetrayed?

His isn't aware that he's crying until the ground moves as if in rain and his face feels wet.

Grief is not loud.

Grief is not quiet.

It just is.

There is no sound for it. Grief is just like the heavy settle of fog over a barely alive city.

Grief falls like snow over battlefields.

Grief is not anything.

It is just...

It just is.

It just exsists, pushing itself against the walls of broken people and battered hearts. It sits, cold and comfortable, against long since past memories and feelings.

Grief is...

Grief hurts so so so so bad.

It hurts.

And grief for parents?

It should never be.

Because in a perfect world, fathers would not bury their sons and sons would not bury their fathers.

They would die as one.

Hand in hand.

Together.

Father and son until their final moments.

And Iemitsu fall to his knees before the coffin, letting tears soak his face and shirts as he just starts blubbering apologies over and over again.

"Tsuna...I'm so sorry you know that? For being the last to know. For never being there. For loosing that card you made me -hic- for staying away-hic- For telling you to be strong when you just wanted to cry and for never-"

The sobs sound like the banging of piano keys in a disarray of sad.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry for making you grow up. I'm so sorry son."

"Tsuna..."

Too many wrongs.

"Tsuna..."

Never enough rights.

"Nothing in the whole wide world can put a soul back into a body. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

The dogwood blossoms fall down on his head and shoulders and back and scatter about his feet and the rose is dropped on top of the coffin, watered with salt. Iemistu falls, sprawled across the top and wails like a child.

 _Tsuna never got to be a child._

 _Tsuna was taken._

 _Because Tsuna was light and the Dark wanted that light for itself._

 _Selfish._

 _Selfish._

i could have protected him.

 _Weren't you the one that feed him into the maw of the dragon?_

 _Weren't you?_

 _Well?_

.

.

.

.

Tsuna never had a Dad.

He never had a Father.

He never had a Papa.

Or a Daddy.

Or an anything.

He had _no one._

No one had been with him from the begining to the end.

No one had been there to hold him tight forever.

...why...

why wasn't that him?

Iemistu shakes.

 _you useless no good failure._

let the words come.

do it.

tear him up.

 _didn't you kill your son in the future? you worthless piece of shit._

 _never there man._

 _never there man._

 _never there man-_

"Gao..."

The lion Tsuna had by his side limps into the clearing with a sad gaze. His mane looks like a dull flicker of an almost dead flame as it struggled to stay alive.

Alive.

Alive.

how dare he use that word while Tsuna lay down, dead?

His eyes fill up again as he permits tears to trickle down over his cheeks. That lion...

Everything Tsuna was just slipping through his fingers, wasn't it?

Everything.

His wife.

His son.

And now the last thing his son ever recieved love from.

Why Tsuna?

Of all the things that the world had to offer, why take Tsuna?

 _Don't you pick flowes because they are the best ones?_

The lion weakly starts his way to te coffin, huffing and wheezing. He collapses on the third step.

"Gao..."

Tiny paws begin reaching out, struggling to get to the side of his master.

"Gao..."

Iemitsu...

Standing up, he walks five steps to where the little lion lay, prone and determined. He was just like Tsuna.

Too much to the too little.

Too much.

And Iemitsu bends and picks up the small lion and cradles him close, and together, the ones who loved Tsuna the most walk to the grave.

Five steps.

* * *

one

 _"Papa, hey, Papa! Look what Tsu-kun made in class today!" The picture was just a mess of scribble and nonsense but the words scrawled in the corner..._

 _To:Papa_

 _He framed that._

two

 _"Happy Father's Day!" He smiles. Tsuna didn't belong in the mafia, but now he could at least see his son._

 _Selfish man._

three

 _His son sleeps with his stomach up, prone and open and small and soft-_

 _The blanket gets tucked further up his son's chin._

 _"Goodnight, Tsu-fsh."_

four

 _Tsuna...missing?_

 _And Iemitsu tears up the world from every corner to find his boy but-_

 _Two years and nothing._

 _He falls like snow into a deep and heady haze of sheer sadness because his boy-_

 _Tsuna appears at sixteen with a pacifier about his throat and a haunt to his gaze._

 _Where had his son been?_

five.

final five.

 _"WHERE IS MY SON."_

 _"I'm sorry..."_

* * *

Iemitsu, Young Lion of the Vongola, does not feel young as he sets Natsu down on the coffin lid.

"Gao..." tired but happy, the lion uses his last bit of strength to give Iemitsu's hand a grateful lick. A worn smile of a distraut father colors his face.

"Guess we all want to be by Tsuna in the end huh?" Natsu purrs weakly as he finally relaxes against the coffin.

That flickering flame about the lion's neck is Tsuna's.

Tsuna...

"I'm sorry...Tsunayoshi.. My lucky bond boy...I...failed you."

More and more and more tears because some people had a boss and some had a friend and some had a brother and some had a crush and some had a saviour but dammit before Tsuna was any of thoe things he was Iemitsu son-

And his son was dead...

* * *

Dogwood blossoms fall on the dying and the crying as the sun rises.

The birds are chirping.

The sun is bright.

The clouds are few.

The world is shining.

And all are still alive, those who are meant to be.

And as the lion dies and the father walks away, one thing is clear.

It is going to be a beautiful day.

.

.

.

.

* * *

 _Once upon a time, a boy recieved an orange box from a man in a yukata that he vaguely remembered. He held it, and it shone like a star in his tiny palms._

 _Ten seconds later, a small lion popped into his hands and they stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity._

 _"Gao?"_

 _The boy smiled like a sunrise._

 _"Hello."_

 _"Gao."_

 _My name is Tsunayoshi, but you can call me Tsuna. Or Dame-Tsuna, whichever!"_

 _"Gao?"_

 _"We can be friends!"_

 _"Gao!"_

 _"Ha! Seems like you agree then! Well, we can just stay by each other's side then!"_

 _He cuddled the lion close and the lion licked his cheek._

 _"Stay by each others side forever and ever and ever!"_

 **forever by his side.**

 **ha.**

 **dead together.**

* * *

 _ **Asphodel meaning: I'm sorry, my regrets follow you to the grave.**_

* * *

 _ **A/N: I am so tired. But because I was gone, I wanted to update. I know this one sucks, but Reborn part 1 will be coming soon so I'm getting in gear. I might even replace this one later so...**_

 _ **Also, any questions? If you see plotholes, please point them out. I try to catch them, but I have trouble...**_

 _ **I hope that you guys think this is okay, and that you'll stick around.**_

 _ **Thanks for everything!**_

 _ **Goodnight!**_

 _ **Ciao~**_

 _ **Pink.**_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Suicide Bird

 _(I remember it as the Day we lost to Fate.)_

 _It's raining,_

 _It's pouring,_

 _The man Bumped his head_

 _On the bed_

 _And didn't get up_

 _Until..._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _Eventually, the rain has to stop._

Namimori is greyish.

Not like real grey greyish, but the grey that comes when people you love go away.

The soft touch of cherry blossoms brush against the windows, and the sweet fragrance tries to register itself into his senses.

He is cold.

It is spring, and the sun is bright but he is cold.

The wind is warm, but he is cold.

It occurs to him, as he walks into Namimori, that Tsuna seemed to be cold all the time. He was always wearing sweaters or jackets.

Perhaps this was how he had felt. This was the cold that came from a loss too great for the body to bear, even with jackets and sweaters and heaters. But Tsuna was always warm, and bright, and smiling. So why in the hell would someone leave Tsuna?

Why Tsuna?

Why Tsuna?

Why Tsuna?  
Why did the world have to take Tsuna?

Takeshi never wanted for much.

He wanted friends, and he had them. He wanted his mom, but he couldn't have her. He wanted his dad, but he was on a vacation somewhere so he couldn't have him. And he wanted Tsuna but Tsuna is rotting away in a bed of lilies.

...Tsuna was good.

He was, there was no other word for it.

Tsuna was the embodiment of good.

So then...why do good people get bad things?

* * *

 _Hair, wind wild._

 _Eyes, childish and wise._

 _Skin, too pale but so soft and warm-_

 _Tsuna._

 _Just Tsuna._

 _"Takeshi! Good Morning!"_

 _Yes, now that Tsuna was here, this morning was indeed good._

 _He says so, and Tsuna flushes and Gokudera snarls at him-_

 _"You damn bastard! Stop being so informal with the Tenth!"_  
 _"Maa~maa~ Gokudera. Tsuna likes it, see!"_

 _Tsuna has a soft expression on his face, all vunerable and smiling._

 _They are happy until that weird baby pops up to demand they get to class._

 _Takeshi goes with a smile, but..._

 _Tsuna looks sad again._

* * *

Takeshi is walking through the halls of Namimori Middle, his dak hair looking a little lack luster, his eyes still bright and now stark against the shadows beneath them.

Takeshi is Rain.

He smooths the pain away, leaving it ready for something else.

He is the go to guy for hardship, the cheerful and ever constant presence of soft strength.

They all came to him eventually. Hayato, Lambo, Ryohei, Mukuro, Chrome, even Hibari.

They look at him like _'you're the Rain right? Can you take this pain back? Put Tsuna back? Please?'_

And he just has to smile and lock himself down and try to help because once upon a time, there was a boy who held all his emotions in until the bitter end. And at the end, He asked for them all to be happy. Because that boy was stupid and didn't know that if he left, no one could ever be happy again.

Ever.

But Takeshi tries so hard to make Tsuna's wish come true, he tries so damn hard...

But he is human.

So human.

So weak, pathetic, and _human._

His steps sound out sharp against the hard floors and too perfect halls. Walls pristine and doors clean wood, he looks so out of place in his tee shirt and sneakers. The katana on his back bumps his hip each time he takes a step.

One.

Two.

Three.

 _i miss him so damn much i wish i could have counted all those blessings when i had 'em and stored them away so that now it wouldn't hurt so damn much i just-_

 _...I just want Tsuna..._

Classroom 2-B stands out sharply against grey as he passes by it.

* * *

 _"Ah!" Beautiful eyes, beautiful smile, beautiful Tsuna._

 _(Goodness he missed him so much...)_

 _"Good Morning, Takeshi-san!" And there it was. That guard, that shadow behind Tsuna's clear brown gaze. He knew that look._

 _It was a look he wore so often after his mom died._

 _And as he reaches fowards and slings his left arm around Tsuna too thin shoulders and Gokudera yells at him and Tsuna gives a nervous laugh, he gives Tsuna a bright broad smile._

 _"Good Morning, Tsuna!"_

 _And Gokudera shouts at him for being so informal but Takeshi watches Tsuna's eyes flickers over. A flaw in the shadow behind them._

 _And Tsuna's eyes, for the briefest of fragmented moments, tear up._

 _He's about to panic because he didn't want to make Tsuna cry heavens no-_

 _"Thank-Thank you...Takeshi..."_

 _Oh._

 _That look in Tsuna's eyes wasn't a guard._

 _It was hurt._

 _But,_

 _Who in the hell would want to hurt Tsuna?_

* * *

People die right when they are meant to.

There is no such thing as it's too soon.

There is no such thing as too early.

Death does not rush.

 _Yeah, keep telling yourself that._

 _Let that make it better._

 _'i'm fine' right?_  
 _Dumbass._

* * *

The rooftop is where they all go to think or to laugh or to cry or to see the world from the eyes of the sky. And by no will of hs own, Takeshi walks to the rooftop. Back to memory. Back to the place where they all sat together and ate lunch and play fought and watched sunsets and were just-

Just perfect.

And at the very center, Tsuna.

Tsuna, Tsuna, Tsuna, Tsuna.

Sweet, color bringing Tsuna.

Tsuna always sat just next to the fence and Takeshi didn't know why.

Did Tsuna want to jump?  
Did Tsuna want to fly?

* * *

 _"Tsuna! Have some of my sushi!" And before Tsuna can protest, he shoves a big piece of fatty tuna in Tsuna's mouth._

 _"Hmfph..." Tsuna pouts as he he starts to chew then- "Hmmm~" His eyes close and his hands come up to ball up by his cheeks in enjoyment._

 _Gokudera blanches as he stares at Takeshi who smiles at him._

 _Beat that, he says with his eyes._

 _Watch me, Gokudera says back._

 _"Jyuudiame! Tsuna turns, eyes still bright and happy. "Have this!" Gokudera gets up rumages in his book bag. He brightens when he finds the item he was looking for._

 _"Here! Please accept this serveants humble offering!"_

 _Flowers and flowers of rainbow colors, wild and probably picked from the park or sidewalk with as much love and care that one could have._

 _Tsuna, cheeks still puffy, lets his eyes widen._

 _Gokudera beams._

 _Tsuna gives one the the prettiest heart breaking slighty tearful smiles that he has to offer and Takeshi's breath is swept away._

 _Color. Color. Color. Color._

 _Bright beautiful color brought into his world by Tsuna's smiles._

 _Tsuna takes the flowers, and the delicate happiness on his face has them all smiling._

 _'Make Tsuna Happy' is a game they all enjoy._

* * *

Tsuna took too much with him.

Their hearts.

Their souls.

Their happiness.

And the color.

Takeshi tries to breathe normally as he lets his body open the door to the rooftop and steps outside with a hazy dullness.

Idly, he notes that if Reborn were here, he would slap him upside the head for being so off guard. But he just didn't care...

His jaw clenches tight, and he turns his head to the side. He didn't want to think about him.

That man.

That guy who got Tsuna's love even as his friend lay prone and pathetic on the ground. dying to save the idiots.

But...

Tsuna was very, very, very kind.

And Tsuna would keep forgiving.

So that meant that the other Guardians had tried to be his anger.

His rage.

His happiness.

Because Tsuna was already sad, and hurting, and mourning and they all just wanted to help him in the end.

But in the end, even their best wasn't enough.

It was never enough...

* * *

The rooftop is the same as usual.

Same concrete.

Same fence.

Same everything except now there was no Tsuna to fill this place up in soft colors and smiles and warmth and all good things. Sluggishly, Takeshi allows himself to drift into the center of the roof, the same spot that Tsuna had stood some long, long, long, lifetime ago.

When his arm had been broken and he had thought freedom lay on the other side of the fence.

Takeshi feels tears touch their burning wet fingers to his eyelids.

Oh Tsuna.

Oh Tsuna.

His saviour and his happiness and his friend and his Sky-

Takeshi lets a few tears tumble down his cheeks as he stares up at the sky.

The sun is setting, casting everything into relief as blood red and soft orange and deep yellow overtake the blue of the sky.

Despite all of this though, it feels grey.

Grey, grey, grey, grey, grey...

Then-

Black.

Black against white grey and yellow grey and green tree grey and sakura pink grey and beautiful sunset grey.

Black suit.

Black fedora.

Closed eyes that behind lids were dark and endless.

Curly sideburns and handsome features.

Pristine dress shoes that were clad on feet that resided on the ledge between the fence and what Takeshi once thought to be freedom.

Long and callused fingers that clung onto the fence.

.

.

.

It could only be one man.

What in the hell is Reborn doing on the rooftop?

* * *

 _Back in a simpler time, at the end of school, they would all go and watch the sunset from the rooftop._

 _Hibari would be leaning on the wall in the corner, eyes on the herbivore, just in case._

 _Gokudera would be sitting on Tsuna's right, shoulders just barely brushing his beloved Jyudiame's._

 _Mukuro would be sitting with his head in Chrome's lap, holding hands with Tsuna. Occasionally, he would brush his lips against the warm-_ alive,strong, good _-pulse in Tsuna's wrist._

 _Ryohei threw punches at the sky, energetic as usual and yelling about the extremely beautiful sky, occasionally glancing back at Tsuna to gie him a broad grin._

 _Lambo sat in Tsuna's lap, eager to tell Tsuna about his day or some other childish nonsense that had his attention._

 _He sat on Tsuna's left, arm wrapped around his shoulders and pulling Tsuna in close,_

 _smiling. The sun was so bright and warm as it fell into into the horizon and Takeshi just wanted this moment to last forever._

 _Just them, just them and no one else._

 _They were the greatest family that Takeshi would ever have, ever._

 _This sunset..._

 _Color was a beautiful thing._

 _These were the good days._

 _The wonderful days._

 _The infinite day that seemed to stretch forever, from one end of infinity to the other._

 _So great..._

 _So terribly transient..._

* * *

"What in the hell are you doing?" Because there is no way in hell that Takeshi can dreg up some genuine kindness or pity from his heart right now.

Not for him.

Not for Reborn.

No.

"...Watching the sky, what does it look like?"

He can't see Reborn's face, but part of him doesn't care if Reborn is laughing or smiling or crying or anything because Tsuna-

 _Tsuna would have cared._

 _Yeah? Well, Tsuna may have been a little too good, okay?_

 _A little too good._

 _A little too kind._

 _A little too light._

 _And it was the de-_

STOP

Takeshi doesn't bother to wipe his face, he sees no reason to try to look presentable in front of this man.

The wind, bitter with the sad it's been carrying since the start of spring, sweeps though and whistles a sad sound of strained sobbing through Takeshi's ears.

Was Reborn?

Then-

 _they loved him too, you know..._

 _we all did..._

 _really, they did..._

But he didn't want to think of these people as redeemable.

He didn't.

But no matter what he wanted, it didn't change the fact that if anything, Tsuna had loved these people with as much care that his heart could give. Really...

Back then, when he had been on that fence thinking of just jumping, he had made Tsuna mad.

At first he didn't know why, after all, it wasn't Tsuna's life, and why should he care?

But...

* * *

 _"You have no right to compare grief! And you have no right to be so selfish!" The last line comes out as a angry dark hiss._

 _Selfish?_

 _"Yes you moron, selfish."_

 _Had he said that aloud?_

 _"You stand up there as if you have you are some sort of god. Like you can dictate who lives and who dies from some high perch... and you know-" Tsuna cuts off and starts to shake his head. "You know that people would cry if you died!"_

 _Angry, angry, angry._

 _Why is Tsuna so angry?_

 _"Because I just...you have so much left! Your mother died for you! Your have people who love you! You have a dad who needs you! And look at where you are!"_

 _It's like someone peeled away the fine, glossy, blurry film from his vision and then it registers that he's on the rooftop and he might die oh my gosh he might die-_

 _Tsuna sees he face and he relaxes a little bit, rage fading slightly._

 _"Don't you think living after loss is the best way to remember those who go?"_

 _And Tsuna's voice takes on a pained tone as he says this._

 _He didn't know why until what seemed like a forever later._

 _Too late, then._

* * *

Because once upon a time, Tsuna was standing here, and Reborn was where Takeshi was.

That's why he says it.

Not because he has pity for Reborn.

Not because he wants to save him, in fact deep inside the part of him that's a natural hitman and scares him a bit is whispering to just let this man fall but-

"Get back here Reborn."

He wasn't going to get angry, and he wasn't going to get passionate.

That wasn't the way.

Reborn turns.

"...Why."

And now it's time to lay down the truth for this idiot because before he was an Arcobaleno, and before he was in the mafia, and before the Death-

He was just a man.

Just a man.

And so-

"He's dead. Stop running."

Because he hadn't seen Reborn at the grave, or at the house, or anywhere since that day.

Reborn glares but like hell if Takeshi cares because he came here just to grieve and Reborn has probably forgotten how. He has spent so much time not caring to remember.

"I don't run, Yamamoto."

And Takeshi implodes.

"Oh? Well then, have you been to his grave? Have you spoken with the others? Have you even tried to-"

"Shut up, boy!"

"You shut up!"

Tears and tears and tears.

"You...you're trying to hide from the pain because you don't want to remember it. You rrunning away because your blaming yourself, and you should."  
Was he right about that?

He thought so.

"If you had just stayed, Tsuna would be okay, and he would be happy, and he would be alive!" He stops and starts to shake his head.

"But you didn't."

And now Reborn looks more lost and broken than Takeshi ever seen him but fuck it he doesn't care because Tsuna-

 _"You are my sunshine...my only sunshine...you make me happy...when my skies are...grey"_

 _Tsuna always sounded sad when he sang that._

* * *

Reborn lets his lost and broken expression turn into a harder one.

 _runnning._

 _running._

 _running._

His eyes get thrown into a shadow by the rim of his fedora.

Takeshi presses on, sadness fuelling the words that he doesn't know if they are true or not because this was just all hurt for Tsuna, all for Tsuna.

Always all for Tsuna.

"You...you selfish idiot."

He swung his right hand over to the vast expanse of sky before them and growls-

"Do you think this is the easy way out? That you can just die? Well, no, you can't."

 _His mother pushed him._

 _Out of traffic._

 _Out of harm._

 _Out of his perfect world._

 _His fault._

"Yeah, you fucked up."

A dissolving to the hard defence of Reborn's walls.

"But dying isn't going to fix that! After you left Tsuna-" And Reborn flinches here, good. "He never thought about dying! Not once, not after you left, not after you showed up again, never once! All he thought about was living long enough to try and repent you egotistical bastard! Trying to repent fo something he didn't do!"

Takeshi let's tears trace his face again as he glares hard at Reborn. And if Reborn's trembling then fine, if he's sad then fine because dammit they were sad too and the Arcobaleno get no special treatment because they were the special snowflakes of he mafia. Tsuna was theirs too, and they loved him even more.

"Tsuna died right when he was meant to," Raw and bitter true words. Reborn looks pale-"But you have no right. You're alive because Tsuna died. You..."

This selfish, selfish, selfish BASTARD.

"You have no right to escape in death!"

Silence.

.

.

.

And Reborn doesn't say a word.

Not a single word.

Takeshi opens his mouth one more time to try and save this man just becasue Tsuna would have but-

"Enough!"

A deep and honeyed Italian baritone runs over the roof.

Then it goes from strong to weak.

"Enough..."

Face hidden and eyes in shadow.

"Enough..."

Fingers slacken on the fence and Takeshi feels his heart drop into his stomach.

 _Oh No._

"I've had enough..."

And the fingers let go.

* * *

 _"You are my sunshine...my only precious sunshine...you make me so happy..._

 _When my skies are grey..."_

 _Tsuna sings in his garden as tears hit the floor._

 _As he stands up, a bright yellow vase is jostled and shatters on the ground._

 _"Ah!"_

 _And as he bends down to clean up the mess, he doesn't notice the clouds that cover the sun._

 _Sunshine indeed..._

* * *

 **A/N: :D Hmmm, will Rebron die...hmmm...**

 **I feel no shame in this one.**

 **The dialoge sucks and the characters are ooc, but me like.**

 **Anyways, this is part one, so part two will be next time, in Reborn POV. Because Reborn is so hard to write, he needs his tory told from someone els first, which is why this is from Takeshi's POV.**

 **Next chapter will have a note on the story itself as well as a few key points that I will be writing.**

 **What do you think?**

 **See you next time I hope,**

 **Goodnight (It's 12:00 a.m. where I am...)**

 **Ciao~**

 **Pink.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Big Men

Everyone in the world has to want something at some point.

No matter how selfless, no matter how great, no matter how tall, or how disiplined, every human in the world is wanting for something.

And Reborn knows this.

He knows, because he at the most base and primal, is a man of many wants. He is also a man of instant gratifications.

Sex?  
Done.

Food?

Done.

Drink?

Done.

A good fight?

Done.

He lived his life by his own terms and his own saying, 'live as if you were to die'.

Because one day, he was going to die.

And he didn't know when, and he didn't know where, but he knew that even if he was a big, strong, soldier man with a wolfish walk and a cocky cat grin and a pair of bat's eyes set into a human face, he was one day going to meet a man that could put him down on his knees and torture him until he hollered.

It was true.

He just didn't expect that person to be so _soft._

* * *

Reborn spent the last few years in Namimori.

He was either spying on his student- _as he thinks this he almost keels over and pukes because he wasn't his anything, not anymore, no no no no no-_ plotting a scheme that would keep- _NOT HIS-_ the boy on his toes or off somewhere else, hiding weapons or _something._

And for a moment, those tired, sunset hazy, sakura sweet and dully vibrant moments, he felt content.

Whole.

Warm.

And with a alive Tsuna, who smiled and gave kindess like water to the thirsty and food to the starving.

He felt so complete, which was odd because for his whole life he felt wrong. Like a puzzle piece was missing inside of him.

Because one day, he woke up in a doctor's chair with Shamal at his side with a sad expression on his face and a _thing_ inside of him. A tickle. An urge. A craving, like the craving a new addict gets when they are first introduced to a drug.

So he does drugs, just for a bit.

Nope.

So he smokes, for a bit.

Nope.

He tries to find his way around in a world that suddenly seems so so so _big_ and-

He walks along with his wolfish walk, running far, far,far away.

And he doesn't even know it.

* * *

 _The cup of coffee is warm is his hands and the taste is just right. Bitter and sweet all at once. He drinks it hot, letting it burn all the way down his throat._

 _"Not bad, Dame-Tsuna."_

 _A big, big, smile that stretches its brightness all across his everywhere. The dark corners are filled with the light and even though he says to himself- the light is not for me-he has to admit it._

 _He doesn't mind._

 _The cup of coffee is warm and the taste is just right._

 _And Tsuna is warm, and that soft orange sweater fits him just right._

 _He is warm..._

* * *

The school is empty.

Not even the skylark wanders its halls, and while there are a few students that hang around, girls dress in too skimpy outfits and guys trying to spray paint on the school sides, they clear out, afraid.

Afraid of the man with the wolf walk and the dead eyes and the death around him.

Tsuna was never afraid.

He loved you.

He loved you.

He loved you.

He really,truly, honestly _loved_ you he was your sky the ones to fill that void the one you've been looking for the one you wanted the one who was YOURS-

 _you dumb fuck, letting him go._

 _i miss him._

 _i miss him._

 _i love him more than anything and i miss him._

 _give me another chance._

 _one more time._

 _please._

 _i can fix this._

He walks, on auto pilot, to the rooftop.

His suit, black and form fitting, sways softly in the breaze that carries over the scent of sakura from far, far, far away. It brings the scents of sandalwood too, and orange.

It was the stirring of a memory...

* * *

sakura,

sandalwood

and teardrops on the wind,

they all remind me of you,

and the fact that we have sinned.

* * *

Black.

His suit is black.

His eyes are black.

His hair is black.

And his soul feels so black, so black, so buried in the pitch dark pit of hell that he doesn't want to come out.

He just wants to leave.

He wants to go far, far away to a place where the hurt can't get him and where the pain won't touch him.

He tried that.

He upped and fled Italy, trying to avoid that black coffin that sat on a bed of grass that had been watered with the tears of a dozen selfish people.

He had seen that coffin, just the once, at the funeral.

He had not cried.

He locked down and hopped on the first plane to Japan and tried to loose himself that night in a girl and a bottle but-

Tsuna.

Tsuna just can't-

Tsuna was always giving him the space he needed, all the time in the world.

* * *

 _"Reborn?"_

 _Another mission. Another kill. In time, he has grown used to the fact that Tsuna is stupid and dumb and will wait for him to get home even if it's 1:00 a.m._

 _Because Tsuna is kind._

 _And Reborn won't admit it, but he likes that._

 _He likes to think to himself, as he walks or drives and flies or limps home, that for a moment, only he matters._

 _He is a selfish creature of want._

 _He knows._

 _But right now, he can't help but stare at Tsuna, because he is standing the same room with a monster._

 _A fucking monster._

 _A nightmare in the flesh and he doesn't understand why._

 _Then Tsuna, after some long drawn out silence, smiles and gets up from his chair, wincing a little as he massaged his lower back murmuring something about stupidly hard chairs._

 _Reborn almost laughs but he doesn't. Noticing something so mundane at a time like this? When he can't see any other color but red or hear any other sound but -_ gunshotgunshotgunshot-

 _Because that's how he knows that it will be okay, that the dancing colors of red can sli away from his vision and that for a moment, he can be someone else. He can be a man who sits with a soft Sky and picks on a dumb Cloud and laughs with a idiot Rain and takes in life with a Storm._

 _He can run far, far away from that Red._

 _He can run, and he stops when he hears that soft sound._

 _Warm arms, and a soft gentle singing as he is led to the couch and a hand strokes his hair._

 _'You are my sunshine..._

 _My only sunshine..._

 _You make me happy...'_

 _Tsuna just...sits._

 _Right by him._

 _Comfort and no-_ what's wrong or tell me the problem- _no._

 _Just...perfect._

* * *

Reborn didn't know when he moved to go and stand on the other side of the fence, but he has to think-

 _this is the last run._

He closes his eyes, tips his head back, and just sets himself to remember. Remember a sweeter time, when he was truly Big.

i remember you in the bits and the pieces,

that i have dearly tried,

to give away

cursed memories

from when i was by your side.

* * *

 _He is not a stalker._

 _He is not a stalker._

 _He just needs to make sure that Tsuna buys him the right brand of coffee._

 _He is not worried._

 _Shut up, Fon, he is not._

 _He is not hiding away in the tampon aisle, because Reborns don't do that._

 _He jsut wants to be sure that Tsuna gets the right brand of coffee._

 _Yes, Tsuna had never made a mistake in their drinks before, and yes he was being stared at as he watched the small and petite young teen walk around the store, but he wasn't stalking._

 _He wasn't worried._

 _At all._

 _"Reborn if your going to come with me, your holding the basket." Tsuna hasn't looked up from his grocery list, and Reborn is not flustered, at all, nope._

 _He just moves forward with is wolfish walk, tilts his fedora down a bit, and takes the basket without a word._

 _Tsuna gives him a knowing smile._

 _He is not flushing._

 _He is not._

* * *

Reborn smiles as that memory flits behind his eyelids, and tres his best to bring every detail on Tsuna's face to life.

The sassy smile.

The wild hair,

The long lashes that framed bright and happy eyes.

He lets his own eyes open just a fraction as he looks up at the sky, which lies just beyond his fingertips.

 _the last run._

* * *

when i think of the times we shared

a long long time ago

they hurt but

they begin to mend

a long since battered road.

* * *

"What in the hell are you doing?"

The tone is pitiless and without a hint of emotion.

Tsuna always had an emotion for him.

A soft smile, a bright gaze, a gentle twitch of his lips.

He doesn't bother to turn and face that swordsman boy behind him.

He didn't care enough.

"...Watching the sky, what does it look like?"

He is watching the sky.

He is watching all those eveythings that Tsuna was plummet down before him, crash and smash to pieces that were so special but cleary weren't secial enough because he forgot and he made himself forget so-

The first time someone bothered to celebrate his birthday.

The day he walked in covered in blood with no wounds and being greeted with a smile.

The day he was forced into an ugly Christmas sweater and forcibly posed in front of a camera.

The time when the sun glinted off Tsuna's eyes in a way that made them look like topaz.

The time when he was found in that alley and Tsuna cried for him. Really cried for him and he swore to always be there for Tsuna because no matter what he didn't want Tsuna to stop being kind and Tsuna didn't stop being kind but-

His face feels wet.

And he sniffs quietly against the wind.

* * *

you left without warnings

a useless goodbye

come back

i'm sorry

i made you cry.

* * *

 _I DID LOVE HIM._

 _I DID._

 _REALLY._

 _I LOVED HIM._

"Get back here, Reborn."

Still so blank.

"...Why."

Tsuna isn't there. So why?

Why should he go back to that place that hurt?

Why?

"He's dead. Stop running."

He wasn't-

"I don't run, Yamamoto."

He tries to scare the kid off, get him to leave so he can start the race but no, this idiot just stays right here and-

He sees the anger flit on the boy face then-

"Oh? Well then, have you been to the grave? Have you sspoken with the others? Have you even tried to-"

NO NO NO DON'T-

He doesn't ant to think about the grave or other people or see Tsuna because if he isn't alive and singing then he doesn't...

he can't...

"Shut up, boy!"

"You shut up!"

And a faint feeling-shock?- flutters in because he had never dreamed of a boy daring to even dream of talking back to him.

"You...you're trying to hide from the pain because you don't want to remember it."

No, he didn't run but he did when the curse happened but-

"Your running away because your blaming yourself-"

He feels his eyes widen.

"And you should."

 _It hurts stoppit stoppit-_

Yamamoto gets a mist over his eyes and his face crumples as he clenches his fists.

"If you had just stayed, Tsuna would be okay, and he would be happy, and he would be alive!"  
Screaming shatters that whisper silence that clogs his throat and then his whole being is overrun with the guilt.

Guilt that crushes his stomach and hi mind and he can't do it he not that strong-

"You..you selfish idiot!"

The low buzz that started when Yamamoto started speaking grows louder.

"Do you think that this is the easy way out? That you can just die? Well no, you can't."

 _someday, there was going to be a man that would force him on his knees and torture him until he hollered._

"Yeah, you fucked up."

He flinches because the laying of sins on the table fucking _hurts._

"But dying isn't going to fix that!"

Everything else gets reduced by his own ears to a low buzzy hum.

Then-

"You have no right to escape in death!"

He...

.

.

.

.

His heart beats

once.

.

.

twice.

.

.

.

thrice.

And-

"Enough..."

He is a big man.

A strong man.

But...

"Enough"

The sun stings his eyelids as he loosens his grip because he can't-

"I've"

It is too much

"Had"

Too much, too late

"Enough"

He lets go, and he falls.

Down, down, down.

And he falls forever.

* * *

 _"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy_

 _When my skies are grey..."_

 _He makes him happy._

 _And-_

 _'I don't deserve you,' a reverance in his tone._

 _A smile._

 _"Perhaps, but..." eyes that go all soft. "I don't deserve you either, for you are perfect."_

* * *

it was a good beginning

a sorrowful

i am sorry i forgot you

my friend

* * *

The wind whistles as he falls and he-

 _Tsuna truns sixteen and he looks at them with such fire, such spirit, such life-_

 _"I promise, I will protect you all."_

 _And it is the firt time the Reborn bows his head. It is the first times he gets out his knees, but-_

 _"Thank you."_

 _And time passes and he is content and then-_

 _"HOW COULD YOU FAIL?! YOU PROMISED! YOU FUCKING PROMISED!"_

* * *

we once stood together

we walked and were one

it's all over

the damage is done

* * *

The easiet thing in the world to break is a promise.

Reborn promised to stay by Tsuna's side no matter what.

In the end? Death parts us all.

 _He unleashes his anger, his rage, his betrayal all onto a poor kind soul that can't change the world but he thought he could and Reborn thought he could and he had said-_

 _He had promised..._

 _"Your fault!"_

 _That boy..._

 _his face is drawn and pale._

 _His eyes are not bright._

 _His skin look flushed but Reborn doesn't care because he is selfish._

 _Selfish._

 _And he doesn't want to say-_

 _"I'm sorry."_

* * *

it is goodbye

forever

and goodbye

for always

as long as i'm living

my sunshine you'll be

* * *

No one wants to say 'I'm sorry' but everyone wants forgiveness.

And he falls and falls and falls only for a hand to grab him by the collar and drag inside a classroom.

He barely has time to react to the fist that slams itself up against his face.

He strikes back, wild and in pain, like an animal.

Yamamoto ducks under and goes for the stomach-

They swing, the hit, they miss, they relieve the anger and the hate and the rage-

It ends when he just slumps to the ground, hands bloody and a mess as he pants.

The classroom is a mess, with overturned tables and papers everywhere. The sunset streams through the windo that he is leaning on, and he lets his eyes drift to Yamamoto's sword.

"Don't even think about it."

And he let's his jet black gaze drift back up to face the sword boy, who seems so big. So Big.

Yamamoto sighs, tired and sad, and his hazel gaze drifts to the window, and the sky beyond.

"I get it."

Reborn snaps his head up, his eyes boring holes in Yamamoto's face. Yamamoto sighs.

"I get it, trust me, I do."

He gets a far off touch to his eyes.

"I know because I've been there and that you end up there because it's _hard_. Everyone's always teeling you to wait you know? And that you'll regret it in the end." He shrugged.

"And you do, you do regret it. As you're on the floor bleeding, or choking, or standing up so high you can barely see the bottom you do regret it. But you don't regret dying, you regret not living the way you should have. It's all of those what if's." He takes a deep breath, because talking like this, being so much younger and yet so much older, is hard. It's hard. So hard. "Stuff like, what if I had lived for myself instead of for my dad of for my mom or for my friends? What if I had been selfish that one time and said no? Or yes? Or..." he waved his hands, trying to explain.

"Or...Something! You know? They always say, you have so much to live for, so much..." His drop to find Reborn's, and they're all far off and wise and Reborn wantd to run, far far away but he can't- " The thing is, that's the problem isn't it? To live for. You spend your whole life living for other people that yyou forget that the only person that you can truly live for is you. It's your life, your world. And you..." Yamamoto's shoulders straighten as his eyes get hard and angry.

"You've forgotten that, haven't you? You want to die because of Tsuna, because you're so guilty. That's so..." His hands come up to bury themselves in his hair. "That's so stupid! We should always try to live for the ones we love! Tsuna moved on, he lived, he loved, he learned, he...died. But he lived!" Why is this boy so angry? It wasn't his life, why did he care? "Tsuna was stupid. He was living for..." His eyes go hated filled. "He was living for you!" The last part is a dark hiss.

And Reborn lets a growl ecape his throat.

"How fucking dare-" The fist across his face is almost something he relishes in because...that pain means he's alive. And...

He doesn't want...to die.

"I dare, you bastard! You're so fucking selfish! All of you Arcobaleno! You all walk around like your the special ones, because you knew him first and you held him as he died and he said his last words to you and you're all sad and thinking that this is the way to say forgive me! You idiot!" Yamamoto's voice breaks and gets too high but it's clear that the boy won't stop.

"Tsuna already forgave you! He already said, 'It's fine'. He already said..." Yamamoto stumbles over to the wall and slides down it, right next to Reborn.

The sun casts them al into relief as they try to pick up the pieces that fell apart when Tsuna died.

"He wasn't...yours...He was never yours. If you all could leave him, and not look back, not even once, he wasn't yours. You...only loved him for a second. But...he loved you. He did. He was so, so, so kind. And he was always apologizing. And he..." Tears flood Yamamoto's gaze as he presses the heel of his palm to his forehead.

"He was made me happy. He was My sky. Mine and he was...he was the center of my infinity. And...for a moment, he was yours too."

He turns to face Reborn, and they meet at an understanding.

"Let him go, Reborn. Stop running. It's time to face it...Please."

Reborn...doesn't openly sob.

He doesn't know how.

But at one point, all the big men have to shatter. Even the big men have to get back up.

Reborn does not scream, or wail. But he presses the palm of his right hand into his face, letting his left lay on the ground.

His shoulders shake softly, and the wet of tears stains his hands.

This goes on, and like the proud people they are,they won't speak of this. They are big men. Takesh doesn't even look over, but he does allow tears to slip down his own cheeks. Then-

"Hey, Reborn." No answer, but Takesh continues anyway.

"Tomorrow, let's go and visit Tsuna."

And Reborn hasn't been to Tsuna's grave since the funeral but-

"...Yes..."

Sakura petals fall into a blue sky.

They would be fine.

* * *

we once stood together

we walked and were one

but

from this moment on,

i promise

i will walk alone...

 **A/N: I butchered Reborn and I am sorry. Don't worry, this chapter will be edited. Someday.**

 **But some thanks are in order.**

 **Thank you animangadeek0624 who helped me with this poem. This chapter is in your honor, my friend.**

 **I also thank my pain meds, for you give me new powers.**

 **Like seeing smells.**

 **(I am very sick rn)**

 **I am very tired, so I am going to have to say goodbye here, lovely readers.**

 **Ciao~**

 **Pink.**


	6. Chapter 6

**This is as the title states, an interlude. A small piece that takes places jut before Tsuna's death from Tsuna's POV. You can skip it and wait 'till the next update, but there's a small bit of devolpment here for Tsuna that got cut out from chapter one. So, if you like, give it a look!**

* * *

Interlude

HIRAETH

noun: A homesickness for a home to which you cannot return,

a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning,

the grief for the lost places of your past.

* * *

Tsuna is a kind boy with too much on his too thin shoulders, a heart of gold in a hollow chest and a smile full of tears.

He also knows that in a few hours, he is going to die.

Because he loves his precious people.

Even if they do not love him.

12:00 midnight strikes on his clock and he finds himself, in a dramatic twist of irony done by some cruel hand, alone in his house. It is so empty.

He whispers softly to himself in the light of the full moon that stream through the windows that are all wide open, words that he's been telling himself ever since those wonderful, wonderful seven walked away and didn't look back.

"I...am so sorry..."

Because he really was.

He really, honest to anyone who would listen he was so sorry, so sorry, sorry but they don't _want_ apologies. They want him to swoop in and make everything back to the way it was when the world spun just right and it was all full of light and they were happy-so happy, but Tsuna can't do that. He can't go back and fix all the mistakes. He can't find a way to make the earth turn, because the earth turns for no one. It doesn't. Really. And he did try. He did try to fix things but-

 _How can I fix it, if no one wants me near?_

 _I just...I keep letting you all down, don't I?_

He gets up from the kitchen table, and makes his way to his room, where he stumbles over to the bed and sits down heavily, turning his face towards the window and the moon outside.

Perhaps it it the thought that this is the last moon he will ever see.

Perhaps it is the thought that he will never be able to see the smiles of his friends again.

Or perhaps it is the thought, the terrible thought that he is going to die for a few people, who don't even love him but Tsuna...for the first time in a very, very long time, feel himself begin to crack.

To shatter.

To break.

And after feeling the faint spot of wetness on his cheeks, he realizes that it might be his soul.

And then he realizes _I'm going to die._

And it hits him like a train, that one, small, tiny little big thought that just spawns over and over in his mind.

 _i am going to die._

 _i am going to die._

 _i am going to die._

And then he hears the small rev of a motorcycle engine and he nearly breaks down into tears because that sound reminds him of Kyoya's motorcycle.

And he won't be able to hear that sound again after tomorrow.

And he won't be able to taste Takeshi's sushi or see the smiles of his loved ones or listen to the birds sing or watch the fireflies or-

...or be able to just make sure, just make sure that his Arcobaleno were alright. Just...stand close to them, and make sure...

Why?

And he lifts his head up, tears streaming down his face and stand up towards the window and he has to ask-

"Why me?"

Because he never-

 _don't you lie to yourself._

 _you betrayed them._

 _you ruined their lives._

 _you no-good sky._

 _you no-good sky._

 _"I am your Sky, and you are my elements, and I shall protect you all" right?_

 _bullshit._

 _you don't want to save them._

 _you would gladly drag them down into the mud with you just to keep them by your side you selfish selfish selfish-_

He was selfish.

He was, because if he wasn't, he would have pushed away all of these broken, broken teens who flock to his side, all these good, good people who are so much braver and stronger and wiser than he could ever hope to be.

He...was so _weak._

He wipes tears away with his pals and an ugly, ugly thoought creeps into his brain.

 _'i don't want to die for these people, these ones who left me'_

He cries out, as if that thoughts causes him physical painand starts shaking his head because in a way, it does.

I LOVE THESE PEOPLE SO I MUST DIE AND I WON'T CRY BECAUSE I MUST-

but they left him alone, so alone and he was just so lonely and so tired and he was just so drained.

Of anything.

 _ah. i have given you all, and now i am nothing._

'I don't want to die for these people'

'Why must it be me?'

'Why do I have to die here, today?'

'Why can I not just let them d-'

He bursts into tears.

Bad thoughts, bad thoughts because if you must die then do it with dignity, do it proudly and show no fear but he is _scared._

He is so scared and-

"I DON'T WANT TO DIE!" He screams and he cries because in the marrow of his bones, he is just a human boy.

A boy, with too much.

A boy, who was still scared of the dark.

"PLEASE, PLEASE LET THERE BE ANOTHER WAY!"

And why not? Why can't he get his wish? Why can't he get his wish becaue all his life he has given, given, given and now-

 _life isn't fair._

 _it wasn't fair to him._

 _not at all._

He wants to go run and laugh and smile again.

He wants to see his family grow and live-

"I just don't understand..."

Who is he talking to?

 _no one, because no one bothers to listen._

He falls on all fours and leans his elbows on the ground in a mock bow, face buried in his hands. The moonlight glints through his hair, and his school uniform hangs from his form.

He is barefoot.

"Why...does it have to be me? What did I do? What makes me different?"

He sobs, and no one answers.

"Why...why do I have to keep saying 'I'm sorry'? Why do I have to die, wny do I have to die to be forgiven? I...I am so sorry...I can't make it better...I can't..."

His vision goes cloudy from milky, pearly tears and he falls on his side, wimpering pathetically.

"I'm not perfect."

 _what happened to that boy, you know, that boy with the youth in his face and the box of cookies and the pure kindness in him?_

 _He...realized that he was not as good as he thought he was. That he was never as good._

"Why..."

 _because you love them._

Tsuna's eyes snap open at the thought.

 _you love them. they don't have to love you back, because you love them enough for two people. you love them._

 _that is what makes you different, you're love for these broken people._

 _and that's why you're going to die._

 _because you love them._

Tsuna lets himself roll over onto his back, where he smiles gently, and closes his eyes.

 _That's right._

The moon begins to bleed away into a weak and fragile sun that looks reluctant to crawl over the horizon.

 _That's right, I do love them._

 _They are all..._

HayatoTakeshiRyoheiKyoyaLamboMukuroChrome

MomDad

 _They are ALL..._

ByakuranEnmaXanxusVariaKyokoHaruBianchiFutaKawahiraLanciaBasil

 _Everyone-_

RebornFonVerdeLalColonelloMammonSkull

 _You are all my loved, precious and perfect people, I love all of you so much I cannot explain._

 _I love all of you, so much._

 _I love you beyond reason and beyond imagination, and I am sorry._

"So sorry I couldn't protect you better..."

On the floor in his room, Sawada Tsunayoshi is laying flat on his back with a tearstained face and a smile as he lay among failed math tests and other papers, old photos and candy wrappers, small toys and beaten floorboards. Tsuna looks towards the baby sun the dawns outside his window and he sees the first sakura petals of spring and hears the birds begins to sing and the last few fireflies flicker out and he has to think to himself, his broken too kind self-

 _It is going to be a beautiful day._

* * *

 _I do not believe in happy endings._

 _Endings are the saddest part._

 _So, just give me a happy middle_

 _And a happy start_

 _And well..._

 _Leave the ending up to Fate._

 _Okay?_

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _Okay..._

* * *

 _stupid boy_

 _they couldn't save you because you didn't want to be saved._

 _stupid boy._

* * *

 **A/N: Hi! Guess who's feeling better!**

 **Anyways, this is part of chapter one that got scrapped due to flow.**

 **It didn't quite fit the rest of the chapter, so it was trashed. I decided to post it to tide you guys over because I might be doing some plot revision and it will take a while for the next chapter.**

 **I FORGOT ABOUT THE SHIMON. AND FUTA. AND BASIL.**

 **I mean, I have a whole chapter set out for Lancia and the members of CEDEF, but like, I forgot Futa? And Enma? And Basil too? Really?**

 **Damn...**

 **Also, I'm have gotten a few pm's asking to draw art for this.**

 **To which I say: YES. I am looking for cover art, so like if any one wants to, feel free.**

 **Also, important news. I have a poll on my profile for this story, and it would really help me out if you could vote. It will probably be closed by the next time I put a chapter up, which might be about Hibari, but is subject to changes needed for flow.**

 **Oh! A few lines in here are plucked from Supernatural, because I keep watching the sad episodes.**

 **I also just watched The Reichenbach Fall from Sherlock and I don't even know why.**

 **I just...**

 **I need a series four.**

 **Anyways, it's late so I'm gonna try and get some sleep.**

 **Goodnight!**  
 **Ciao~**

 **Pink.**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Six

 _Together, we shall make a promise._

 _...do you remember it?_

The clock beeps.

It is morning.

And despite every dream, every wish, every apology, Tsuna is still dead.

Skull, who has been lying awake sice 1:00 that morning when he woke up, merely reaches out a sluggish hand and slaps the sleep button on the clock. He inhales, inhales the scent of the house he is in, and exhales, trying to force the air out his lungs faster because every second he breathed in this house, he felt the weight of a thousand sins on his shoulders.

Tsuna had lived in this house, long after they had gone.

After they had gone...

Skull rolls out of bed, leaving sleepless nights behind him and begins preparing for the day, wondering why he was bothering to do this when in the end, no matter how the wishes of the dead are treated - _live i want you to live-_ they are never coming back.

Not ever again.

His hair, blacker now - _did he even have dye anymore?-_ falls in front of his face, the usual spikes falling down in his eyes from lack of care. He rubs his hand over his head, and tries to scoot the bottle of alcohol down under the bed to create some semblance of clean.

Why was he here again?

Why was he at the house where they left?

Why-

* * *

 _'Why do you come here?' Silence. Was that a bad question?_

 _'Skull.' Soft, warm hands take his own, and then soft pink lips curve up, and gentle eyes gaze at him, so warm, so kind..._

 _'It isn't just the bad memories that stick to us. Those ones, the ones that hurt, they just stick out the most. But underneath all of that, the sorrow and the rust, there are the good things, the sweeter things.' he says this as he walks about his old house in Japan, looking at the pictures of a brown haired woman and a laughing boy and occasionally, a blonde man. He passes a brown-red stain that probably couldn't ever be scrubbed from the walls and he murmurs- 'sometimes we have to go back to where we came from, see all the things that collect inside us, the things that makes us, shape us. But it hurts...so we run..but even if we run, they are important.' He picks a framed photo up, one that has all the three of them and his smile goes a bitter soft sweet and he says-_

 _'We have to make sure that we don't forget' he looks to him-Tsuna looks to him and he grins, all sunshine bright and perfect-_

 _'Right?'_

* * *

The good and the bad.

Yes.

Skull, dressed in nothing but a stained white tee shirt and a pair of boxers, let's himself drift down the staircase, letting himself fall forward and just catching up to his momentum.

He checks the fridge.

Still empty.

He opens the cabinet.

That's empty too.

He looks in the mirror.

 _Don't worry, you're still a terrible traitor of a man._

 _Coward._

 _You didn't even defend him, defend him from the people who were supposed to love him more than anything-_

 _why did i come back to this house?_

 _there is nothing here i want to remember._

 _but there are some things here that you have to._

He finds an old paper cup, half filled with coffee that he vaguely remembers getting from some side cafe that couldn't spell his name right. He sighs, and sticks it in the microwave, pushing some of the old buttons repeatedly to get them to work.

 _why did i come back to this house?_

 _there is nothing here i want to remember._

And there wasn't.

Not really.

And yes, that sounds awful of him, but he is an awful person and those 'good' moments, those happy times, those frozen but real smiles of the people in photos on the mantle hurt him more than seeing that still, cold, pale, _cold_ Corpse in the coffin. That bad memory. That terrible thing.

And those memories hurt, they hurt so much because it wasn't the loss and it wasn't the hatred and it wasn't the grief and it wasn't the nightmares it was the _memories_.

They were so real, those taunting flasback that tell him, scream at him, _LOOK AT WHAT YOU LOST._

 _LOOK._

 _LOOK._

 _LOOK AT WHAT YOU LEFT._

 _LOOK._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _bright smiles and topaz eyes and happy hands, reaching out._

 _'Skull, you're back!'_

 _._

 _._

 _._

He swiftly shakes his head, moving it from side to side.

It isn't the loss that hurts the most. It's seeing the remnants of who he was. It was the beginning and the middle and the bitter, dregs of coffee cup bitter aftermath flashes that rest like dazy dreams, all warm and not comforting at all.

.

.

.

 _a kiss dropped to his forehead._

 _'Of course I love you too, Skull...now go eat your vegetables."_

 _Laughter. He pouts._

 _Tsuna chuckles and holds up a camera._

 _'Smile!'_

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _oh tsuna._

 _those were the days when we could smile,_

 _could be happy..._

He walks away from the still going microwave and walks around a bit, a glint purple catching his eye. He looks, but then he turns away.

Who cares?

Who cares?

His -was he really ever yours?- Tsuna was dead.

.

.

.

 _firecrackers across an open sky, wide and welcoming._

 _soft kimono and soft hands tugging his own._

 _'C'mon Skull, the fireworks are starting!'_

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _why did i come back to this house?_

 _why did tsuna stay at this house?_

 _because he couldn't let go of the family he thought he had._

 _he couldn't drop his love._

 _he stayed because this was the happiest place he had ever been._

* * *

Skull stares around at the room he is in, and he is surrounded by dead plants. He turns back, but then-

A flash of brown hair, brown eyes, sad frown...

He swings back,

"Wha-"

Pots.

Seven pots.

All in the order of the rainbow.

Notes.

All neatly written, in Tsuna's favorite ink, in the way he wrote, all chaotic and messy, with swipes of ink across the pages from unsteady hands swiping across wet black ink.

Drops.

Dried and still on the page. Tears.

Skull kneels, lets his hands reach forward and-

 _he thought we would come back._

 _Tsuna thought that we would come back._

 _He hoped..._

 _(He hoped that you would honor your promise.)_

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _The breakage of bones, the scream, the guilt, the failure._

 _'I'm so sorry, Tsuna...'_

 _Smiles, pain_

 _'It's not your fault.'_

 _Guilt trip, drinking, realization._

 _'He's a better man than any of you!'_

 _Promise, pivot._

 _'Promise that you won't leave me...'_

 _Promise kept, promise broken._

 _DEAD BODY._

"...Oh my gosh...Tsuna you..."

Tsuna always waited.

He waited for them for whenever they went out on missions. Up until the sun would rise, or until night had fell, greeting them with a bright smile and open arms no matter what the state they were in.

 _he was waiting for them, wasn't he?_

 _he had probably sat there for hours, just waiting, for them to come back, to apologize, to see them again..._

 _how long?_

 _how long was it, until he realized that the people he loved..._

 _...cared for..._

 _...healed..._

 _...didn't want him..._

 _...didn't love him..._

 _were never coming back?_

He reads the note, left by a purple pot and he has to feel something now, because he has been numb since the day that body fell and he saw him smile and say-

 _'forgive...me...?'_

When he couldn't even cram words out of his throat so he had just looked, looked on at Tsuna who lay there soft and strong and so so loving, apologizing for something he didn't do while he just sat there and cried.

 _couldn't even say sorry?_

 _you worthless little thing._

He remembered it with a crystal clarity, that one moment that made him who he is now. A traitor.

Reborn starts picking on him, in a crueler tone then usual, and he bites back.

Verde adds fuels to the fire, and Tsuna, sweet, sickly- _alive, he was sick but he was alive you stupid, stupid, stupid son of a bitch you could have helped him-_ Tsuna who he barely noticed now because he was too busy wondering, wondering what he was going to do now in a world that was so _big-_

Sweet, sickly, thin, poor, loving, scared and stupid Tsuna just wants his family back.

His happiness back.

His life, his life with people that he would do anything for but wouldn't do a thing for him.

He wants his home and Skull has to wonder, has to wonder-

 _if we left so fast, could we call him ours?_

 _no. no you couldn't_

He sees Tsuna's lips move, but he doesn't hear the sound but he sees Reborn and then he feels...good?

Because sometimes, when you're hurt, you want to see someone hurt worse than you.

 _but did it have to be him_?

 _Tsuna?_

Because grief has no logic or reason. It just _is._

 _"Your fault!"_

And Tsuna...shatters from the inside out, like the crushing of a glass.

Cracks spread like the tears over his eyes that become shadowed by his bangs and he doesn't say a word and he doesn't hear a thing until the door slips shut with a click-

 _'tsuna, promise me you won't leave me...okay?'_

 _but you were the one who left._

Skull swallows hard. He swallows hard and he finally looks down at the note that's been signed with his name.

He looks, and then he tosses it away as he screams and cries and stops feeling numb when the truth was, he never asked to stop in the first place because when you were numb you couldn't heal but you couldn't get hurt and now it _hurt_ -

* * *

 _Skull,_

 _I am so sorry that I broke our promise._

 _I am so so sorry._

 _One day, I hope you will come back, and that we will be together,_

 _and I am so sorry._

 _I wish I could make it right again._

 _HE KEEPS SAYING SORRY FOR YOUR MISTAKE-_

And Skull gets on his knees, a broken man, and he cries out to his angel-

"I'M SORRY!" And Skull bears witness to the inklings of morning through his tears, and sees the birds fly high, high up into heaven because Tsuna couldn't end up anywhere else, and he was even taken away from here because it was hell-

Skull falls to his side, he falls and lets his tears soak the note too.

"I'm sorry, Tsuna."

Maybe if he repeats it, it will make it better?

 _oh? and how often do you think Tsuna sat here, wishing on whatever he could and apologizing for things that were beyond his control?_

Skull lets tears falls onto dead promises and dead asphodel petals as he sobs freely.

Repentance to dead.

"I'm sorry, so sorry Tsuna, I so sorry for leaving you alone...I-" He chokes, and stops, a pathetic heap of a man lying in a dead garden.

Brushing his feet are the dead wisps of white tulips.

Skull sobs.

The microwave beeps.

It is morning.

* * *

 **A/N: Okay, so this is the worst chapter I have written so far.**

 **Like, it really sucks. I cannot write Skull for the life of me and to all you Skull fans who voted for him in the poll, I am so sorry, I really am.**

 **But...I tried my best.**

 **This probably didn't make you cry, but I try to give you guys some light angst so that the big stuff hits harder, you know? (While it won't be for a long time, Byakuran's chapter is coming soon. I cannot wait!)**

 **And yeah, a lot of minor characters are gonna get a show. Kawahira, Talbot, maybe even Nezu. (or not...don't hold me to that last one...)**

 **But yeah, I have created a monster.**

 **Let's see the buildings I smash.**

 **Hope to see you guys next chapter!**

 **Goodnight!**  
 **Ciao~**

 **Pink.**

 **p.s. Has anyone caught the flower meanings yet? I've had a few people catch a few that I've got in here, so have you caught the big one in this chapter? I'll tell you guys next chapter! Whoever guesses it, pm me!**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Seven

Greedy Thing

 _Do not find fault in him_

 _For we all hunger for love._

He can't make him again.

He has tried but he can not make him again.

Mammon, wearing nothing but a faded purple shirt and a pair of sweats, is sitting in his room, alone and tired and hungry and...

He's too afraid to go outside, outside and see the stares and hear the whispers and feel the burning of a thousand and one hot angry tearstained gazes on his back. _you're not a little kid anymore, you have so much now._

Yes.

Yes...he did, didn't he.

After all, this was what he wanted wasn't it? He hadn't wanted Tsuna anymore, he hadn't wanted to see his face or hear his voce of feel his warmth or-or _anything._

He didn't want...

But then what was he expecting?

What was he expecting, because good people wait, great people wait, but then there was Tsuna, stupid giving Tsuna who waited and waited and saw and saw and gave-

Gave so much, too much, too much...

 _but if he hadn't died, what then?_

 _he brought you back in the future remember?_

 _you couldn't bear to see him then._

 _he gave up something there too._

 _so why is this time diferent?_

 _if he had lived this time, if he had lived this time would you be so regretful?_

 _Well?_

 _Could you claim to that?_

He didn't know. He really didn't, he didn't know what to say or how to feel or anything anymore.

He was just...tired.

Very tired.

The room he is in is small, dark, almost cramped with a dresser with a mirror just three steps away from the bed along the wall. There is a nightstand and a window which releases a few small twinkling fragments of starlight into the room, trying in vain to give him some light.

His bulb was blown.

He hated the dark.

But he couldn't open the door.

He just couldn't.

Sometimes, at night, when he watches the sky and reaches out his hand to the unobtainable black blue forever of the sky just like the way Tsuna used to, just like the way the alive Tsuna used to he has to wonder-

 _'tsuna, from where you are, are you trying to give light to me?'_

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _Once, once when he had a nightmare, Tsuna gave him a small nightlight._

 _He smiled, ran fingers through Mammon's hair- i think it's such a pretty color- and said-_

 _'for when i'm not there.'_

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _he found it smashed two days after Tsuna died. Retributation in its most cruel form._

 _hadn't he lost a light already?_

 _._

 _._

 _._

When the happy days were with him, he used to ask Tsuna why he held out his hand to the stars, why he had kept reaching for them when he knew that he would never get them.

 _he had been so young then, the well had been so full of water..._

Tsuna just smiled.

He tried to remember that smile, close his eyes and try to stitch it into the soft skin of his inner eye so that he would see it forever but...

He raises his hands and tries to recreate the way he was, the way he smiled and the way his eyes glinted the color of marigolds or the way that one piece of hair kept curling around his left ear and never went with the rest.

He tries to recreate him.

With the methodic preicison that came from counting bills for hours he begins to craft an image, and image in Tsuna's own likeness.

He didn't know how to bring Tsuna back from the dead, and even if he could he didn't know if he would of, but he is just...

He's not strong enough.

He's not strong enough.

He just...

He wants Tsuna to come and say- to come back and-

He wants to have him back again.

Him and all his blessings,

All of the things he should have been counting instead...

But he had so much water in that well, so much...

He wanted Tsuna back, he wanted every moment back, every kiss on the forehead back, every smile back, every laugh back, every single damn thing that Tsuna was and ever will be back and he wants to grab a firm hold of him then like he should of, and never ever let him go.

Tsuna was his strength.

And Tsuna was the first person to ever, ever tell him...

Tell him that he was loved.

Shakily, Mammon-greedystupidselfish- rub his face and looks at his handiwork.

It isn't Tsuna.

It's not and as much as it looks like him, smiles like him, walks like him thinks like him sounds like it him it isn't him and it never will be and all the money in the world can't buy back a body-

 _the dead don't need money unless it is underneath their tongues_

Mammon slides off the bed from where he had been sitting on it and buries his face in his hands, stuck in a mock bow in front of the mere scraps of Sawada Tsunayoshi.

He feels his eyes well up but he doesn't cry, he says-

"I just wanted to hear you say...hear you say that I was good again..."

 _I didn't want you to leave, never wanted you to leave!_

 _But you left, you left._

 _You left on the shoulder of the blonde boy, remember?_

 _The one who is as lonely as you are._

Mammon blinks back tears.

 _Remember how Tsuna would never cry? Yeah, he was busy being strong for you._

 _All for you._

 _Worthless._

The Not Tsuna smiles and reaches out,

'Mammon!'

And its torture in its purest form, and because Tsuna still loves him it makes it so much _worse-_

On the floor, all alone, scared, helpless Mammon weeps.

It occurs to him in passing that all things must have a clear price. Because Tsuna said that he would wait forever-so vague- until Mammon needed him. And he did so with a smile and Mammon believed him, shoved him aside.

And now when Tsuna wasn't there to brush away tears, to keep away demons, to give him light and strawberry milk-

He wanted him.

Mammon can't make Tsuna again so...

"I...hic..want my Tsuna back..."

* * *

 _Summer day_

 _Soft smile on yellow poppies._

 _Tsuna holds up a watering can and says to the flowers, so_ _lonely_

 _'Water, Mammon?'_

* * *

 **A/N: I lied.**

 **This one is worst, but...I kind of like it?**

 **I just...I dunno, Mammon just has so little to go off of in canon you know?**

 **I am sorry about my useless fluff and attempts on trying to make him somewhat ic.**

 **Anyways...**

 ***Looks at crying reviewers and reads reviews, awkwardly sets up tissue stand- get free tissues here!- and passes a few around***

 **Uhmmmm...**

 **Would y'all kill me if I said that this stuff was just the early stages? The really tame stuff?**

 **'Cause I don't want to die.**

 **Yeah, I've got a 'plot' now, and I won't give too much away, but right now we are in the Melancholy Arc.**

 **It's gonna be long and based on the reactions right after Tsuna's death. We're also gonna touch on character relations that would grow strained. You know, Fon and I-pin, Lal and Colonello, Colonello and Ryohei...stuff like that. We will also tackle some issues that got really muted in canon because let's be real, all of the character are** _ **fucked up.**_

 **Also, I'm not done with any of these characters. All of them will get a part two of some sort. (Particularly Reborn, see there was a lot I didn't touch on...)**

 **After the Melancholy Arc, there may be a Retribution Arc that may or may not happen. Meh. There's a whole bunch of stuff y'all are gonna hate me for. You know, more death, disease... I am so looking forward to this. You have no idea.**

 **(I think you all will love my ending...)**

 **Hope to see you there!**

 **Ciao~**

 **Pink.**

 **P.S The flower last chapter was indeed white tulips, which mean sorry/forgiveness. They are dead because...art, I dunno how my mind works. Did you catch the one this chapter? PM me and let me know! Then I'll...write you a request fic!**

 **(I really love getting PM's...)**

 **Goodnight!**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Eight

The Game of You

 _Ain't he perfect?_

Lambo, fifteen and growing, all curly hair and soft green eyes, sobs as he presses his hands into his eyes, trying to stem the flow of tears but failing terribly. He sniffles, he hiccups, he sobs freely and at one point, he gives up on being quiet because TSUNA WAS DEAD.

He was dead, it was all the fault of the Arcobaleno and he would never, never _, ever_ forgive them.

He gave up on being quiet, because it _hurt._ It hurt really, really, really bad and he wanted it to stop, wanted the pain to ease up like it did when he jumped into his bazooka and let his older, stronger, smarter, better self take care of things.

 _if he had swapped with his older self in the final battle, would Tsuna be alive?_

 _would he be alright?_

 _maybe._

 _maybe it was your fault._

He sucks in a shaky breath, tries to get some air into his lungs that were run raw from coughing and crying.

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _'Ah, Lambo, crying doesn't make you weak.' Tsuna's beautiful face becomes his focus, and he stares up at him, trying to forget Reborn's words of 'weak crybaby'._

 _Tsuna pulls him into a hug and murmurs, soft and low-_

 _'Cry, because that's the only way the world will know that you are sad. Cry, and let your tears water the ground, and hope they bring forth flowers of the good times. It's okay to cry.'_

 _It doesn't make much sense to him but he doesn't care as he blubbers-_

 _Tears are okay._

 _And Tsuna begns to sing him that gentle lullaby that he so loved._

 _He would never let go._

 _._

 _._

 _._

Did it make him a bad person for regretting it? Regretting saving the Arcobaleno? Did it make him a bad person for wanting to just go back in time and prevent any of this because maybe they deserved it. Maybe the got what was coming to them and that was why they were cursed. _wouldn't that mean tsuna too what did he do-_

Saving the Arcobaleno was supposed to save Tsuna too. Because that was who he wanted to save, that was who the guardians wanted to save because he was their Sky. The only one who bothered to care, the only one who looked after them and bothered to make sure they ate or slept or laughed or went to school. The only one who _wanted them, accepted them for who they were-_

 _and you let him go._

Lambo hiccups, and vaguely he can hear Byakuran just falling to peices somewhere in the muted background that becomes his head's personal melody.

"No! NO NO NO! Don't move me from him! I was the only one he had! I'm the only one he has! He needs me, let me _go_ Kikyo you fucking bastard I need to stay by him!" The white haired boss screams and thrashes as they pull him away and he coughs and cries, but then his eyes cast over in shadow ad he falls limp, tears and snot just running down his face without stopping and his sags in defeat. He trembles and Lambo watches every story, every tear fall down his cheeks.

"Then whose going to stay by...him. Whose gonna...help him..now? Tell him that...he is loved...hic...love him?"

No one answers.

* * *

He's staring eye to eye with Reborn, who is leaving. He's leaving. He's getting up and leaving Tsuna alone _again_...Rebborn doesn't even flich when he confronts him he just smirks and calls him crybaby and Lambo is sick of it. He-

"I wish Tsuna had left you to die! I wish you were dead and that he was still alive! Why are you so important?!"

Lambo can barely see through tears but Reborn sayd he's going back to Japan, he's acting like he's just fine and he doesn't want to hear the swishing giggle of the liqor in Reborn's hand. He doesn't wat to see the hidden hurt in Reborn's eyes. He's just spitting fire, angry and sad and mad and he doesn't know what to feel, what to say, how to think.

tsuna was dead.

how did the world even know how to keep spinning?

He inhales sharply -lavender, the room smells of lavender- and spits-

"It was your fault!"

And he watches Reborn turn away, silent and stepping on petunias. Then he leaves.

Not of his own intention, of course.

Five year old Lambo stares as the lower the lid of the coffin onto the still, lily white body inside. He frowns at the sad faces, at the lack of color, at-was that REBORN? He frowns and sucks on his lolipop. Wrapping his hand in Kyoko's, he looked up at him and grinned as he poked her cheek.

"Gyaha! Lambo found Kyoko!"

Kyoko gives him a weak smile, and her eyes flood with tears and he frowns, his bushy afro becoming a home for one of his sticky fingers as he pulls out a small toy and pushes it in her hands.

"Ah, Kyoko, let's play, Tsuna will wake up soon like he did last time so let's play a game!" Kyoko's smile vanishes and she trembles.

A thudding alerts him to the coffin again.

They are putting nails in. He frowns. Don't they know that Tsuna can't wake up if they do that? Why are they...

He frowns and tugs on Kyoko's sleeve.

"Hey, Kyoko, why are they covering up Tsuna? He can't wake up if they do that!"

The eerie quiet gets heavier.

He panics.

"Kyoko, don't you want Tsuna to play with us too? You have to stop them!"

Kyoko bursts into tears, and Takeshi comes and plucks him away. He smiles, but it wasn't the bright one he usually got. It was...sad.

"Hey, Lambo, there's something you need to do for me, okay?"

The past hurts more than the present, because you could never truly get it back. It hurt because he had Tsuna, who was smiling at _Reborn_ and he-

He scoops Tsuna into a hug, careful not to squeeze too tight on those delicate bird bones and he can't say a word, not a word oh gosh just tell him-

tell him what? what will it change? what will it do, because in the end it wasn't the Arcobaleno the made Tsuna do it he chose and you know he would do it again-

His sniffles, and can't say a word. He can't be mad. He's just tired, and sad, and in pain. He can't do anything. He just brushes his hands past the place he knew where the pacifier was. Tsuna gasps-intakes air, something the alive did-

It hurts

* * *

He didn't want to use the bazooka anymore.

Not anymore, because he didn't think he'd have to keep such a big secret.

.

.

.

 _"Normally, I would never do this but," Takeshi trails off and smiles bitterly. "If there's one thing he has taught me, it's to be selfish."_

 _._

 _._

 _._

He thought don't tell anyone about the future meant not saying stuff like 'Hibari gets a haircut' or 'Squid-head doesn't get any smarter' but no.

It was so, so much bigger than that. So much worse.

Tsuna-nii was...

.

.

.

 _"You can't tell anyone about this, okay? You have to keep a secret." Takeshi isn't smiling anymore._

 _"I'm sorry, Lambo_."

.

.

.

He feels tears well up in his eyes. What was he gonna do now?

.

.

.

* * *

As one, they feel the tug behind the bellybutton.

 _the ending of a fairy tale never was a happy one._

 _don't you know, Peter had to grow up._

They begin to inhale the pink smoke into their lungs and they fall back through the crack in time to where they belong.

 _it is time to go home._

Young Lambo lands in his Tsuna's arms and sobs freely into s chest, buring his face in.

He cries, he chokes, he coughs, he sniffles.

How else can he tell the world he's sad?

And as Tsuna just hold him close, his voice cracking a bit, he begins to sing the soft lullaby that rocks him to a shaky sleep.

 _i'll love you for ever,_

 _i'll love you for always,_

 _as long as i'm living,_

 _my baby you'll be..._

* * *

 _ **A/N: Ah, this was hard to write. I was kind of crying while I was writing Byakuran. I mean, I wrote that in as a sort of teaser for the ones who were hoping to see Byakuran, but man...I is needing hug. Also, I'm not just gonna make the Arcobaleno the bad guys in this. The others are going to do some things that aren't gonna be great, but are going to make for some good development and personality. Prepare to get uncomfortable, folks.**_

 _ **Funny story, actually. So, recently a friend of mine got into KHR! And read my fic. As she was reading my fic, she got so sad she threw a loaf of bread at my head while screaming about how I must lack a soul.**_

 _ **Okay.**_

 _ **So credits!**_

 _ **That one scene where Lambo was asking about the coffin and Tsuna? I got that from Fullmetal Alchemist.**_

 _ **The lullaby ain't mine either, but I forget where it's from.**_

 _ **Also, my timeline is really screwy, but I'll explain it soon.**_

 _ **I am just so sleepy right now.**_

 _ **And there are two flowers this chap, pm me and tell me what they are! Or just pm me! I really love seeing that little number next to the box...**_

 _ **I'm sorry to my Spanish reviewers for not replying, but my translator isn't working, and I can't read spanish very well. So, I've decide to learn the language so that I can understand! Please don't give up on me! I love just see the fact that people took the time to read this, so...**_

 _ **THANKS TO EVERYONE!**_

 _ **I am so tired.**_

 _ **Goodnight and sorry for messing up Lambo,**_

 _ **Ciao~**_

 _ **Pink.**_


End file.
